What is it about cross dressing that makes so many of us complacent with deceiving others? I thought about this, and about writing this post, and just bashing those that deceive but then I thought about myself. And I am pondering if just by being me, am I actively trying to deceive those around me? Am I girl, nope, but occasionally I dress as one, and pass myself off as one. Isn’t that deceit? Yes it is. I will grant you that.
But I suppose it is a deceit of omission. I don’t tell people that I am a girl. If anyone were to ask, which has never been done, I would certainly tell anyone that I am a man dressed as a girl. The way I look at it is, the people that I deceive are the general public, and the general public does not have a need to know about my personal life.
Who does? My wife. And my wife has always been privy to my personal private thoughts. I made a commitment to her when we got married, and part of that is being honest with her, with trusting her, with having her be a part of my life. And I feel very strongly about this. I have a very difficult time reading about how so many of you have been CDing for years and have never told your SO. Honestly it is quite shocking to me. But even more so than that, is the large numbers of you that not only accept their deceit, you actively encourage it. I have read more than one post that says “if you want to keep your wife, don’t tell her.” Shocking! How significant is your other if you are unwilling to be honest with them?
Along the same lines are those of you who “borrow” your wife’s clothes or your sister’s clothes, or your mom’s clothes. These things are just wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong.
I think this all stems from fear of rejection. We are afraid that others will not understand us and thus we hide who we are and then we justify it by saying, well it is for their own good. Or it is for the good of the family. Or some other such nonsense. Listen, it is not important that you out yourself to the entire world. The entire world does not need to know your private personal business. But when you are married, or are planning on getting married, your private personal business becomes you and spouses private personal business. There is no more me and them, it is you two together. And together means more than just simply sharing the same space.
If you choose to exclude your spouse you are making a grave mistake. You think that they will not accept you because of your aberrant behavior, so you allow yourself to do something that no one should accept in a spouse. You deceive them. If someone were to tell me that they are leaving their spouse because they can not trust them, I would support that decision fully.
Don’t do something that is morally reprehensible because you can’t just stand up to your own fears and find out if you spouse has concerns about cross dressing.
Okay, I know, a bit of a rant, but dammit, I feel very strongly about truth and honesty and openness within relationships and about facing your own fears. By not facing your fear, you are honestly dooming your relationship with deceit.
Okay, rant over.
Love Ya.
Be honest!
Photo credit – http://www.flickr.com/photos/ev0luti0nary/5222712198/
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