Knit Top – No idea who made it – thrifted
Striped Top – Mosimo
Pants – Guess
Booties – Nine West
Do you like to be pushed off a cliff? I don’t think most people do. I think I do. Well at least that is how it feels. It feels as though if I push myself, I am pushing myself off of a cliff that foretells no chance of survival. How silly we humans often are. I am often reminded of a scene from The Matrix:
Boy: Do not try and bend the spoon. That’s impossible. Instead only try to realize the truth.
Neo: What truth?
Boy: There is no spoon.
Neo: There is no spoon?
Boy: Then you’ll see that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself.
Such wise movie wisdom. Oftentimes in trying to realize the truth, my body reacts as though I am being pushed off of a cliff. When in reality there is no cliff, it is simply a systems of beliefs that I have forced upon myself.
So, do I like being pushed? Yes. And what I strive to do is to push myself before anyone else has the chance.
Okay, so another thing. Headless photos. Yes I have many of them. Today I have redone my outfit post from yesterday, due to caring Leslie Ann. Thank you Leslie Ann. I appreciate the shove.
A big problem I have with most of my photos is, do I look happy? I should be. I should be thrilled. And quite honestly I feel stupid for even mentioning it, but I am not happy. Why, you ask? Difficulties with my wife. Difficulties with the wife you say? Yes, difficulties. Until yesterday I have been unable to properly label it, but my wife suffers from dysthymia. Heard of it? I had not until yesterday. Then while reading about it, it was reading about the woman I have lived with for 26 years.
I know that complaining about my wife in any way is like a slap in the face to many of you. Yes I have read many of your blogs. Yes I have read, and cried, over how many of your wives have treated many of you. And yes I have looked at and appreciated how my wife has handled my cross dressing. But none of that negates the issue of her living with dysthymia, and thus me having to try and coexist with someone in the state. See, she has never been willing to accept that something other than us not getting along was happening. But for 26 years I have insisted that something else has been happening. Well, guess what? I was right. Go figure!
Dysthymia. I have a feeling that many CD’s are bearers of this insidious condition. I have a feeling that many humans deal with this as well.
Okay. On that, I’ve gotta run. Love you. Love yourself. Love life.
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