coming out friends Out and About

A Best Friend

June 30, 2016

I could have sworn that I had written about one of my tales of coming out to a friend, but I sure cannot find it recorded anywhere here on my blog!  Woe is me!  If I ever did retell this event and am simply unable to locate it here, and am forcing you wondrous readers to sit through it again, I am SO sorry!

I think it was about a year ago, or so……….. an old friend (lets call her Shelly) contacted Jules and I and informed us of some super sad news….. doctors had found two brain tumors inside of her.  She was calling us as this information had caused her to have some deep reflections which prompted her to attempt to reconnect with old friends.  This was certainly heart breaking news to both Jules and I.

It had been some time since we had spoken with our good friend Shelly, but she is certainly one of our oldest friends.  We had met her in college, and the three of us had been immensely close.  Very close.  Super close.  Close enough that we had considered what life might be like living as a threesome instead of a couple.  Yeah, that close!

Anywho….. Shelly never new about my gender variance as at that time in my life, I myself was just beginning to be aware of it. The only bit of information that I ever allowed her to know was that I enjoyed wearing women’s underwear.  I remember at the time being quite freaked out about telling her, but it was a total non-issue.

Fast forward almost twenty years later, and last year, Jules and I decided to go visit with her and her boyfriend.  Of course I went dressed as I like to now, in female clothes, but presenting as a male.  Shelly is a super open, kind, and considerate person, and even though I had not really shown this side of myself to her, I knew that she would be totally fine with it.  And of course, she was.

(I can’t believe that I never wrote anything up about it.  I’m still quite shocked about that actually.  I have searched my blog repeatedly for my reporting about this event, but alas I have yet to find anything written up about it. Gosh, I suck!!!)

Okay….. so that is it about the back story of Shelly and me.  Now onto to present day events……

I had to travel south for a work related event and afterwards I knew that I would have a few days to myself.  Shelly and I have been texting a bit lately and I asked if she was available for a visit.  She said she was, and I knew that I would finally introduce her to me, dressed as a woman.  Of course I was more than a bit nervous, but I knew that it was something that I would wanted to do.

On the way to her house, I texted her the following photo.

I didn’t want to just show up at her place kind of unannounced and surprise her.  I knew that she would be fine with it, but I still wanted to give her a heads up.

Before I knew it, I was at her house, parking the car, and walking up to her house.  She met me outside, and without skipping a beat, she greeted me and we hugged each other.  We went inside, said hello to her boyfriend, and the three of us began chatting, as if it was just any other totally normal visit.

I wish I could say that something super thrilling happened, and actually, in a totally boring manner, something thrilling did happen….. a fun, friendly, enjoyable visit with a best friend.  We hung out, checked out her new house, and chatted for hours.  Of course we talked about me, and my gender variance, as well as her health, and our lives in general.

Both she and her boyfriend were super supportive of me.  One of the first things she noticed was a change in my voice.  Funny, as I don’t really notice a change, but she did.  Leave it to a good friend huh?  She complemented me repeatedly, and told me that she felt I was far more relaxed, and normal, and comfortable presenting as a woman.  Which of course, made me feel so loved!

We ended up hanging out for about three hours before I had to hit the road.  Luckily, I remembered that I needed to get a photo of the moment and I asked her boyfriend to snap to photo at the top of this post.  It was sad to leave, but unfortunately I had a few hours drive ahead of me to get home, and if I waited any longer the Los Angeles traffic would double that timeline.  So it was with sadness that I said my goodbyes and left.

By the way….. some of you may think I was brave in going to see her while dressed as a woman….. but in all honestly, Shelly is the brave one.  She is living with brain tumors….. coping with them in a holistic fashion…. and is winning.  I don’t know if I could ever be as strong as she is.

Love you Shelly!!

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  • Reply Jennifer Athome June 30, 2016 at 5:39 pm

    A bit off topic, but I really like that "Native" artwork behind Shelly.

  • Reply Charlene Peterson July 8, 2016 at 1:15 pm

    You just can't beat real friends. Thanks for the post and best of luck to Shelly.

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