I Saw A He-She The Other Day

December 18, 2014

OMG, he did not just say that directly to me, did he?

My other coworker asked for clarification and the first guy repeated “I saw a he-she the other day. You know a guy that was dressed as a girl.”

I sat there stunned. Was he really relaying this story? Was he really relaying this story to me? Was he fishing for information about me? Clearly he discovered something about me and was wanting to out myself.

He then began to recount his story. “I was driving home the other day and I saw this person on the street corner waiting to cross the street and sure enough I caught the red light and they crossed right in front of me. And that is when I knew for sure that they may have been dressed as a girl, but that was a guy! And I couldn’t believe that was happening right here in this town! Man, where have the rednecks gone?”

I was shell shocked. Here was my coworker, ridiculing another transgender individual. And here I am in a position to be able to stand up for this nameless person. And yet I hesitated. My emotions were telling me that I should fight, flight, or freeze. Instead I contemplated my options and the situation.

First off, did he not know that I am also TG? Clearly no. Even though my ears are pierced, my nails are painted, I occasionally wear female clothes, my body is shaved, my eyebrows are shaped, clearly this guy can’t go to that on occasion I dress just like that person on the street. Funny. I know he was not fishing for information and wanting me to out myself. It was the way he told his story that I knew that was not what he was doing. He was just talking to a bunch of guys about something that most guys would relate to his opinions.

It is so funny. Before I did any gender non-conforming behaviors in my daily life, I was sure that if I did, everyone would know that I am TG and they would ridicule me and pitchfork me! But no, here I was, clearly being included in his male centered world and treated just as if I was just like him! It is true that plenty of people at work have their suspicions about me and I am sure that one or two know the truth for sure, but some people only see what they are capable of seeing.

And at first, I was angry and then I took pity on him and felt sorry for him and his ignorance and I decided that I was not going to attempt to enlighten him.

Why?

It would serve no purpose in my work scene for me to do so. It would most likely damage my working relationship with him to do so at this point. And I need to continue to have a good working relationship with him. Maybe one day I will enlighten him, but it would not be on this day.

On this day I simply said “The world is an amazing place with amazing people in it.”