Monday, January 16, 2017

Thank You Sally


Do you know who I stole my blog's design from?  Well, okay, I didn't really steal it in the literal sense of stealing, but this blog is entirely based on Sally McGraw's original Already Pretty blog.  When I found out that Sally actually checked out my blog, I was slightly horrified that she would send me a cease and desist letter! Ha!  I am sure I am over dramatizing the situations, but still, this site looks very similar to the original Already Pretty site.  Even the idea of interspersing topical posts with outfit posts was taken directly from Sally.

Why such utter adoration for Already Pretty?  Well it is possibly the only blog I have read consistently since I discovered blogs.  But also, I have really enjoyed Sally's message of acceptance of oneself.  She has tried to consistently deliver a body positive message to the world.  It is a message that I really benefited from hearing.  It wasn't directed specifically towards the transgender community but it is something that I read about with interest.

Myself, and so many of us transgender folk, suffer from huge issues associated with how our body looks.  Upon reading Sally's messages I slowly began to realize how much disdain I have for my own body, but Sally also offered me a solution to my dilemma, that did not involve transition; you can use clothes to help you look more like you think that you should.  Sally impressed upon me that clothes can be a magical tool to wield in the fight against one's self image.

Yes I know, for many of us, clothes are not enough to hold back the tide of dysphoria, but within clothing I found a way to see a side of me that I have attempted to hide for the vast majority of my life.  Being able to understand that within the simple act of picking the right clothes can change my entire outlook on life has been invaluable.  I mean seriously, being able to use clothing to give me an external look that is congruent with my internal image has helped save me in ways that I could never repay Sally for.

On top of all of this that she has already done for me, she now helps to support me as a writer.  Awhile back I contacted her and praised her for an article of hers that I read at Sister House.  This email shortly resulted in her asking me to be a contributor to Already Pretty.  Me?  Wow!  I was blown away by the prospect holding such an honorific position and obviously I accepted!

I have been so thrilled to be able to write for a blog that I hold in such high regard.  Sally asked all of her contributors if they would like to continue to write for Already Pretty even though she herself will no longer be publishing new content.  Three of us decided to stay on for now and see what the future holds.  As if all of this was not above and way beyond, Sally and I have also had some recent emails back and forth regarding her assisting me in possibly writing my very own book!  Wow!

Sally is moving on from her blog, but trust me in that if you have not read her material it is well worth it to go back through and peruse it!  She is also moving on in her writing career and even you may benefit from her awesomeness!  I highly recommend you go check out her site at Sally McGraw and see what this super talented, kind, caring individual can do for you!

With all that I have, thank you for all that you have done for me and for the world Sally, you are a magnificent person and you have done great work and I am sure you will continue to do so.

images:
By Ashashyou (Own work) [CC BY-SA 4.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
By Sweet viiiooo (Own work) [CC BY-SA 4.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Monday, January 9, 2017

Sweater Dress

Dress - Max Studio - Similar
Leggings - Mossimo - Similar
Booties - Madden Girl - Similar

Sorry for the super washed out photo!  I've had my camera for a couple of years now and I am still trying to figure out all of the little settings!  I know some of you who could probably really help me in that department!

Anywho.... this dress used to be Jules', in an unusual circumstance she was going to get rid of it and I decided to keep it.  I like it with the leggings as well, but I wish I had different leggings to go with it.  It is a super small thing that I am going to live with, but the leggings pictured are four panel pants.  That means that they have four seams running the length of the leg.  I think that is about four too many seams.  I'm not so sure how they would make leggings with no seams, but maybe I could find some with flat seams.  Hmm.....


I've also been super obsessed with these booties lately.  I have so many pairs of shoes and yet I tend to get stuck wearing the same pairs over and over again.  I suppose that it has something to do with the shoes I wear tend to be the most comfy!  Hmm..... maybe that has something to do with it!


Ohhhh..... something I almost forgot to mention.... I really like the stripes on this sweater dress.  The way they are close together towards the waist and then further apart on the hips totally help give the illusion of a skinny waist and wider hips!  So nice!  Such a lovely little clothing trick!  Yay!

Okie dokie, I hope you all are well!

Love you!

Love yourself!

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Hunting with Boobs


About a week ago I tried something that I have never done, I wore a bra and a set of the small boobs out while hunting.  And what was the result?  I had the best shoot average I think I have ever had.  I was super amazed.  I mean I have gone out shooting before while wearing boobs.  You may or may not have seen the post that the above picture was from.  But going out hunting to the duck field while wearing boobs?  Nope I had yet to ever do that.

There are a myriad of things that could go wrong with wearing boobs out to the duck field.  The first of which is that I could be spotted as having breasts.  I wasn't dressed as a woman, I had my standard male hunting gear on.  Besides my face also had quite a bit of beard growth on it and being on vacation I have not bothered to shave in a while.  So there's that!  Another thing is that, really what is the point?  Why would I possibly want to wear boobs while out hunting?  What could the be the possible benefit?

Well, with that last one, the benefit could be better shooting.  Better shooting?  Yes, better shooting?  How in the world could boobs help to make me shoot better?  Well, one of the main things about wing shooting is properly shouldering your gun.  One might think that is a pretty simple affair.  Put your gun to your shoulder, and shoot.  Ha!  I wish it were that simple.  Shooting happens to be one of the hardest things I have ever done.  Anywho, one of the best ways to shoulder your gun, is to begin by putting the gun but away from you while you bring it up and have it touch your cheek.  You then pull it back to have it seat against your shoulder.  If you do it right, then every time it is in the right position.

How often do I do it right?  Possibly about half of the time.  The other half my gun is sitting on my upper arm, or half way across my chest.  This results in a missed shot, and a possible bruise!  Anywho, while shooting with boobs, they are far bigger than my standard chest equipment.  This makes it so that I do that first part, of putting the gun out away from me, much more often.  If I don't do it, it bonks my boobs!

Thus, it actually helps me to shoulder my gun better!  And the result was that I shot much better than normal!  Yay!  I really thought that I may have found out what my difficulties with shooting have always been, missing boobs!

The only problem with my theory is that I have been out hunting twice with boobs since that first time and I totally sucked!  I mean sucked bad!  It was some of the worst shooting I have ever done!  So much for that theory!

Okay, just a silly little post today.  Oh, and yeah, nobody has said anything about my boobs while hunting.  Either everybody is super polite, or nobody noticed under all of my super fluffy hunting gear.  Oh and I totally know that I have not been posting much lately.  I am technically on vacay right now!  Yay again!  I say technically because while on vacay I am involved with remodeling portions of my house.  Currently I am stuck sanding and filling the ceiling.  Super fun!  So.... I work on the house and twice a week I go hunting.  I am pretty darn tired!

I hope everyone has been enjoying the holiday season!

Love you!

Love yourselves!

Friday, December 16, 2016

Funny Shopping Experience


The other day I had a bit of time to kill so what better to do than a little bit of shopping!  I first went into Famous Footwear to check out their Converse selection.  That is something I do quite frequently as they tend to change up their selection quite often.  And the really cool Converser sell out quickly so you need to be on top of it!

Afterwards I went into the Marshalls next door.  Lately I have been really into wearing bralettes pretty much full time.  They are pretty comfy and have a very small amount of padding in them.  Thus while they show a little bit, they don't show too much for me to feel too self conscious while at work.  Anywho..... Marshalls will often have a nice selection of them at pretty cheap prices. I found a few that were cool and I grabbed them and headed up to the checkout lanes.  Along the way, a candle caught my eye and a tough to destroy puppy toy as well.  While waiting in the line I was eyeing the various cashiers and I noticed one who appeared to be transgender.

It is often difficult to accurately assess someone who identifies as transgender, but I am pretty sure this person was.  As best as I could tell, this was someone who was born female, but was clearly presenting very much similar as I was, except in the opposite direction.  I thought to myself, I hope that I get them as my cashier.

When it was my turn for a cashier, I got called to this person.  I was wearing, female jeans, shoes, top, and a lightly padded bralette, but otherwise presenting as male.  No makeup, shaved head, a bit of scruff on the cheeks.  The cashier had a super short hairstyle, which in and of itself is not enough for me to assume transgender.  But they also were wearing men's clothing, and had on men's jewelry.  They also carried themselves in a very masculine manner.  The other thing was that while they were ringing up my purchases, we gave each other a knowing look and a few wry smiles.

It was quite amusing and I chuckled to myself as I walked out of the store.


No, we didn't sit there and gab with each other about our gender variances like a couple of old pals.  We just sort of silently acknowledged each other and respected each other in the standard roles we were playing: customer and cashier.

Some people tell me that these people don't exist.  In my experience I see far more FtM than MtF transgender people.  No, you can't just assume transgender status from simply wearing jeans instead of dresses.  But if you look close enough, there are many, many people who were born female and clearly present as male.  Fully male.  Not just eschewing fashion, but actively trying to appear as masculine as I try to appear feminine.  Funny.

Okay, that is all.

Love you.  Love each other!  Love yourself!  Love the wide variety that is the human species!

Photo Credits:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:SF_gender_symbols.png
https://pixabay.com/en/women-men-people-human-gender-149577/

Monday, December 12, 2016

What's in a Name?


Brook, Bobbi, Nadine.  So far those are the iterations of names that I have gone through and I think I am getting ready to go through another.  I am mentally amping myself up to begin going with Kelly as my new nom de plume.  Well, actually what I have been contemplating is adding a middle name to my current name.  So..... my current name is Nadine Spirit, but you already know that right?  Okay, well there is no middle name included there.  Thus my full name is going to be Nadine Kelly Spirit.

Cool?  Well, possibly.  But actually it can be a bit annoying to me.  Annoying you ask?  Well yeah.  One might think that it is awesome to get to choose your own name.  Yeah, I kind of thought that as well, before I actually did it.  The first name I chose because I liked it.  Duh!  But after awhile I didn't.  I kept picturing a ditzy blond, and I didn't like thinking of myself that way.  Not that people with that name are all ditzy blonds, it just happened that is the image my brain came up with and I didn't really like it.  Bobbi, I never liked.  I thought I would try it out and it lasted for maybe a month or so, maybe even less.  It is something I was called as a young child as it is a derivation of my actual name.  I thought I'd really like it, and actually I hated it.  Viciously.

Hmm.  After those two failed attempts, I went with Nadine.  I have no idea why I chose it.  I think I just kind of liked it.  Possibly because I couldn't think of anyone I knew with that name.  Possibly because of its meaning.  Possibly because it just popped in my head and I thought it was nice.  Who knows why I chose it!  I certainly don't!  Anywho...... I was totally fine with it for years.  I think I have gone with it for at least 7-10 years now.

But I have encountered a problem with it.  And that problem is beginning to come out to people.  Why is that a problem you ask?  Well because I have noticed that being as it is a bit of an unusual name often people have a difficult time with it.  Maybe it is because I am saying it strangely.  Maybe it just doesn't roll of my tongue the way that it should.  Maybe it is because people don't hear it very often.  Maybe it is because it is a difficult name?  Who knows!  I do know that many people struggle with it.  I have had some sales associates just straight up not be able to understand what my name is.  And that is weird.

More importantly, now that I am coming out to more and more people in my regular life, outside of this fine online world, I feel weird saying "Nadine" to people.  I am not quite sure what it is.  Possibly it is that I get a look from people that says, "you sure don't seem like a Nadine to me."  Nobody has ever said that, but I kind of feel it from people.  Almost as if their looks say "hey, if you're going to make up a name for yourself, couldn't you just go with something more mainstream, and not something that sounds like you should be some gorgeous South Pacific Islander or something?"

Okay, so maybe they are not thinking anything like that at all.  But, still, I have become reluctant to state my name to people and I don't like that.  I have started to become more aware of it lately and last week while wine tasting I was VERY aware of it when the crowd of early 20's ladies asked my name.  I felt super self- conscious about it.  After that, I decided, that in real life, I have to change my name.

In the past when I changed my name, it was pretty easy.  I decided to do it, and then told my wife.  And that was it.  Being as she and I were the only ones who knew about me and my gender variance, it made it pretty easy.  But now?  Now that I have told many people in real life and as well, that I have worked hard for about 7 or 8 years to develop my online brand under the name of Nadine Spirit?  How does one go about changing all of that?

The answer is, I'm not.  Online I will still use Nadine, but in real life I am going to begin using Kelly.  I will tell people I know in real life to use Kelly.  Any of you wondrous folk here in the blogosphere can use either one that you would prefer, Nadine or Kelly.  And if you know me in both locations?  Yeah, it doesn't really matter to me.  Use whichever one makes you happy!

So um, yeah!  There you go!

Love you!

Love yourself!

I kind of wish someone else would have just named me with a female name when I came out of the womb.  Maybe that is what everyone should have, both a male and female name given to them by their parents.  That way once everyone starts to self-identify their gender, they can go with either of their given names.  Hey maybe that is why we have a first name and a middle name???  But one should just be male and the other female.  Hey, this could work!

Love ya!


Photo Credits:
https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File%3AName.jpg
https://www.flickr.com/photos/vblibrary/6517132943
https://www.flickr.com/photos/jackdorsey/170257936

Thursday, December 8, 2016

What A Weekend

My Wine Tasting Outfit

My wife, Jules, really wanted me to write a post for you all.  I told her that I didn't really think that it would make all that much of a difference in the world being as those that know this, know it, and those that don't will find some reason to doubt it.  But I'm getting ahead of myself aren't I?  Yup, I have a tendency to do that on occasion.  Hmm.......

This past weekend my wife and I travelled to the coast for a bit of wine tasting.  It was her birthday this past Sunday and it was her choice on what we were going to do, and she chose wine tasting, so off we went!

On Saturday we woke up, got ready, and were out by about 10:30 or so.  A little bit late, but that turned out to be a good thing as by the time we rolled in Denny's for a super carbo loading breakfast, we were able to be seated right away.  We casually chatted, and ate our food before heading off to our first winery.

I totally forget the name of the place, but it was just okay wine.  They are probably happy I forgot the name of their place considering I am giving such a raving review!  Ha!  Anywho, we stopped to get gas before going to the second location.  We were travelling in the Santa Maria area, which is nice for wine tasting as they are so spread out you really have to drive some good distances between each place.  As well, for all of you nit pickers out there, Jules and I share tastes, drink lots of water, and eat lots of food.  We are well versed in what it takes to wine taste safely.  So, um, yeah!

Anywho.... after gas, we were off to the second location.  We tasted a few, poured out much of them, icky!  Then back into the car, driving through the oak tree studded rolling hills.  The area is just starting to turn green and it is so super pretty!  We drove on through the area, pulling into Los Olivos, a small wine tasting town.  But it was way over crowded.  I pulled up the local Indian casino on the GPS and off we went for a little gambling fun.

The casino was boring.  Nothing fun, but it killed a bit of time.  I lost a grand total of about 50 dollars, while Jules lost about 20.  So, for an hour of fun, it didn't cost us that much.  Back into the car we went, stopping at a couple more wineries before we were back at the hotel room.  We freshened up and then went out to sushi for dinner.  Jules really likes sushi, me not so much.  But I love my wife, so.... I ate sushi!  Hmmm...... yum!  I guess!

Okay, so there was the thrilling day.  So why did Jules want me to write about it here?  Because it was a totally normal day!  Absolutely nothing weird happened.  And I was dressed fully as a woman for the entire day.

So then why did I say that nobody would be swayed by this totally normal day of mine?

1 - I interacted with people who I was buying things from, thus they needed to act professionally.
2 - I pass so awesomely amazingly that nobody would ever suspect that I am anything but a natal born female.
3 - The only reason nobody bothers me is that I live in the ultra liberal state of Kalifornia.
4 - I have a perfect wing-woman in my wife.

Now, what about that above list is wrong?  Hmmm...... prettymuch all of it.

Taking those points out of order:
3 - California is not quite as liberal as much of the rest of the union would make it out to be.  Most of the liberal attitudes come from our big cities, San Francisco, Los Angeles, San Diego and their surrounding metro areas.  Myself, I live in California's bible belt, the central valley, where it is actually super farmer right wing, gun toting, Trump loving, conservatives.  Now what do I have going for me in this area?  Most people keep to themselves.  That is about it.

4 - Yes my wife is a great wing woman, but often she and I are not together.  As well, I don't require her to be by my side holding my hand while we go to the potty together.  Sure we are together, but we are also apart often enough.

2 - Nope, sorry folks.  I may have figured out how to take a decent picture of myself while dressed as a woman.  And as well, I do concede that I pass the glance test.  Meaning, I pass well enough that with a few seconds of a glance, most people probably take me as a woman.  But in actually interacting with me, with pouring me wine to drink, with standing next to me in a tasting room, yeah, nope, no way, now how, never do I pass as a genetic woman, even to totally drunk people.

1 - This is the part that I think is interesting.  Yes I did interact with many people who had something to sell me.  But that is not all.  Take all of the other patrons in the wine tasting rooms.  Like the couple with the young kid who laughed at all of my jokes that I was making.  They had nothing to gain by being pleasant with me, and all of them were.  Even the group of young kids celebrating their friend's 22nd birthday.  That was a fun crowd who came up and spoke with my wife for much of the time we were there.  Men and women, mostly quite drunk actually.  And all of them were super friendly.  What about all of the people in the casino?  That place was packed.  And how many pointing fingers did I get?  Yeah, that's right, none.

Okay, well, that about sums it all up.  Nothing all that thrilling to report.  Except for me being able to be me, and society yet again being totally fine with it.  Just another totally normal weekend out wine tasting with my wife.

Don't believe that it can happen?  Well, meet up with me sometime and we'll go out together!  Sound like fun?  Contact me and we'll make it happen.  Now I must warn you though, I am not into going out with fetish dressers.  So if that is your thing, well then, don't contact me!  Ha!  But if you're up for a totally normal day hanging out, wine tasting, or shopping, email me!

Love you!

Love yourself!

Love others!

Monday, November 28, 2016

Finally Feels Like Fall

Coat - Guess - Similar
Top - White House Black Market - Similar
Leggings - Connection18 - Similar
Booties - Madden Girl - Similar
Belt - ?? - Similar

This past weekend we finally got some cold weather into the part of California that I live in!  Yay!  It was so wonderful finally feeling cold again!  For a transgender individual such as myself, cold weather is such a wonderful blessing!  Seriously it is.  Besides the awesomeness of having many layers of clothes on that help disguise my obvious male figure, wearing a wig during even warm days can be so darn uncomfortable.


I so wish that I could still grow out my own hair.  Boo-hiss for balding!  Ugh!  I remember growing up and hoping with all of my mite that I would never end up going bald.  But alas, genetics are an inescapable bitch!  Okay, well maybe if I had started finasteride and rogaine treatments back in my early thirties, or maybe even late teens, then maybe I could have warded off the evil balding genes for at least a while!

Have I ever told you that my natural hair would actually get to be about the same color as the wigs I currently wear?  Well it was!  I am actually a brunette, but apparently it is not to firm of a brunette color as with just a bit of swimming and sunning, my hair bleaches out to a nice blond, again, very similar to my blond wigs.  So pretty much the only difference between my old natural hair and my wigs is the fullness of my wigs.  I would say that my hair looked as though maybe I only had about half of the hairs of my wigs.

So uh yeah.  Thrilling insights into my hair, right?  I think sometimes I like the partially frivolous nature of my blog as all too frequently I torment myself with way too serious thoughts.  Yup, on occasion those thoughts appear here as well, but I still like to think of my blog as a light hearted fashion blog with a light sprinkling of seriousness.  Ha!  I just made myself laugh.

Love you!

Love yourself!

Love the lighter side of life!