Monday, November 28, 2016

Finally Feels Like Fall

Coat - Guess - Similar
Top - White House Black Market - Similar
Leggings - Connection18 - Similar
Booties - Madden Girl - Similar
Belt - ?? - Similar

This past weekend we finally got some cold weather into the part of California that I live in!  Yay!  It was so wonderful finally feeling cold again!  For a transgender individual such as myself, cold weather is such a wonderful blessing!  Seriously it is.  Besides the awesomeness of having many layers of clothes on that help disguise my obvious male figure, wearing a wig during even warm days can be so darn uncomfortable.


I so wish that I could still grow out my own hair.  Boo-hiss for balding!  Ugh!  I remember growing up and hoping with all of my mite that I would never end up going bald.  But alas, genetics are an inescapable bitch!  Okay, well maybe if I had started finasteride and rogaine treatments back in my early thirties, or maybe even late teens, then maybe I could have warded off the evil balding genes for at least a while!

Have I ever told you that my natural hair would actually get to be about the same color as the wigs I currently wear?  Well it was!  I am actually a brunette, but apparently it is not to firm of a brunette color as with just a bit of swimming and sunning, my hair bleaches out to a nice blond, again, very similar to my blond wigs.  So pretty much the only difference between my old natural hair and my wigs is the fullness of my wigs.  I would say that my hair looked as though maybe I only had about half of the hairs of my wigs.

So uh yeah.  Thrilling insights into my hair, right?  I think sometimes I like the partially frivolous nature of my blog as all too frequently I torment myself with way too serious thoughts.  Yup, on occasion those thoughts appear here as well, but I still like to think of my blog as a light hearted fashion blog with a light sprinkling of seriousness.  Ha!  I just made myself laugh.

Love you!

Love yourself!

Love the lighter side of life!

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Pleated Skirt

Skirt - White House Black Market - Similar
Top - White House Black Market - Similar
Shoes - Madden Girl - Similar
Belt - ???? - Similar

I absolutely love this skirt!  I have probably written about it before, but I will say it again, and most likely again in the future as well, I LOVE this skirt!  It is so much fun to wear!  It is pleated all the way around and is made of such smooth silky material that I love the way it moves while walking around in it.  It feels like I am wearing a cloud!  What exactly does it feel like to be wearing a cloud?  Okay, well I really don't know what that would feel like, but I would imagine that it would be all light and fluffy and swishy! Just like this skirt is!


The thing I don't really like about it though is that it doesn't do much at all to give me a bit more shape.  But you know, I am a bit over that.  I used to be very concerned that I had all the right curves in all the right places; so that I looked more like a woman.  But ya know, not every woman has all of the right curves in all of the right places.  Sometimes they have a few extra curves in places they would prefer not to and sometimes they don't have any curves in places they would prefer to have them.  Such is life huh?  And such is my body.  I may have been born with a bit of a male body, but that is not going to stop me from enjoying fun clothing!  And this skirt is super fun!


Really, when I am walking around in this skirt I just get this big old shit eating grin on my face, like I am a super happy little clam!  (What is up with that saying?  Like clams are super happy or something?  Why?  Why would they be happy?  What is up with their lives?  Maybe I should investigate what it would be like to live as a clam.  Oh wait, that's right, I'm not trans-species, just transgender.  Hmm tangent much????)


Okay.  Well that is about it folks.  I hope that things are going well in your lives.  My last post seemed to be a bit of a thought provoker for many of you.  I will return to it again in the future as many of your thoughts got me thinking in a variety of directions!

Love you!

Love yourselves!

Love Happy Clams!

(Hmm..... maybe a happy clam is not a clam at all but a euphemism.  Hmmm.... okay now my mind is FULLY in the gutter! Ha!)




Thursday, November 10, 2016

Numbers - The Truth of Partner's Acceptance



Have I ever mentioned before that I really like numbers?  There are all sorts of fascinating things that happen with numbers that are often overlooked.  For instance, I often go to various events where you buy raffle tickets, but them into various buckets, and then cross your fingers that your name will be called.  These events are truly very random drawings and yet, often the draws do not seem very random.  Some people tend to get their names drawn more than others.  It just happens to be the nature of apparent randomness.  Just like my phone, I will put the music on random play and frequently the same song comes up again and again.  Random?  Well yeah, but it sure doesn't seem to be a very good random!

Anywho..... some of the numbers I have been looking at lately are the true numbers of acceptance of spouses of transgender people.  Within my research I have been looking at numbers of MtF transgender people who are not transitioning, that have told their spouse or girlfriend of their gender variance.  The common theory states that it is very rare for a genetic woman to be accepting of a gender variant male to female significant other.  My own theory is that is actually simply based upon fear and not a true reflection of reality.

Many gender variant people spend a large amount of their lives in hiding.  They fear what might happen if they are honest with those around them.  And why shouldn't they be fearful?  They dominant narrative states that there exists an overwhelming threat to the transgender community from a large variety of sources.  From being attacked on the street, to being harassed in the bathroom, to being fired from your job, to being shunned from any sort of companionship.

But, unfortunately from what I can tell, many gender variant people are not actually willing to risk attempting these actions to discover for themselves whether the narrative will pan out that way for them or not.  Now don't get me wrong.  I understand that bad things happen.  Bad things happen all of the times.  For no reason.  To good people.  And they shouldn't happen.  But such is the nature of life.  It is unpredictable.

Alas, I fear I have drifted off topic yet again!  Low is me!  Okay, focus here.

The focus of my personal study has been trying to decode true numbers of reactions of the reveal of being gender variant within relationships.  My study group has been the users at crossdressers.com.  My method has been to simply comb through the various threads and categorizing people and their partner's response to them being gender variant of some sort.  It has not always been clear but I have tried my best to determine what happened within their relationship once they told their partner.

Some early results??

Of the 458 members I have included:

363 did not leave the relationship upon the reveal
280 are at least somewhat accepting
29 are in what is called a Don't Ask Don't Tell situation
45 didn't leave but are not accepting of the partner's gender variance
23 are accepting genetic women
74 are partners who left because of the gender variance
20 left but not because of the gender variance

Okay - a proviso with these numbers, some members reported their responses from several different partners over the years, thus the numbers may not total as one might expect.  This explains why their are variations within the totals.

So some percentages huh?

84% of partners did not leave the relationship upon the reveal
74% percent of the partners are at least somewhat accepting of the gender variance, which could range from DADT to full inclusion and acceptance
68% would be considered to be openly accepting of their partner's gender variance

These results are what I have up to this point.  I will continue to compile the numbers.  There is about 10-15 years worth of data on that website and so far I have gone back about two months only!  I don't really know how long I will continue to do this for.  We shall see.

But so far, I would have to say that the common assertion that a partner will NOT accept a gender variant partner is completely wrong.  Apparently far more partners DO accept their gender variant partner.  Who knew?  Well I personally had a suspicion.

Interesting.

Love you!

Love numbers!

BTW - This data was all taken from publicly accessible areas of the website.  Anyone can find this information if they so choose.

Here is the raw data, if you are really interested:













Thursday, November 3, 2016

Love This Shoe!! - Boo-Hoo For Me!!


CONVERSE X PATBO CHUCK TAYLOR ALL STAR HIGH TOP

I will freely admit, I do not have official permission to use this image!  I know, right! Image thief!  Well does it help that I am advertising the Converse brand?  Probably not.  I am totally in love with this shoe though.  I have taken to recently wearing Converse shoes to work almost everyday.  None of them are quite this feminine though.  Well maybe a couple of them, but not quite this pretty!  I really like that they have actual embroidery on them.  Often with Converse they will have painted on images that resemble embroidery, but they don't have actual embroidery on them.  This pair though, has really embroidery done on them.  So why am I SO bummed?  Well they no longer have them in my size!!

Boo-Hoo for me!!  Um.... I am majorly bumming!  So, if anyone knows where to buy these in a ladies size 10, then let me know!  I will be eternally grateful!

Speaking of Boo-Hoo, reader Clare wrote in and asked:

Off topic...thoughts on dressing en femme (to work) on Halloween?

To which I will say that I have never done that.  I have considered it, but I yet to actually do it.  And I am kind of mixed on my thoughts on doing it ever.  On the one hand, I am interested in going to work fully dressed as a woman, but at the same time, I am kind of not interested in that.  As well, I don't really like the idea of dressing as a woman for Halloween.  Halloween for me is a time to dress specifically in a costume.  Thus if I were to dress as a woman for Halloween, does that mean that I am presenting myself dressed as a woman, as a costume?  I kind of don't like that idea.  I don't like the idea of me dressed a woman being a costume.

I totally get though why so many other MtF transgender people do dress as a woman though on Halloween.  They see it as the one time of the year when they can get out dressed as they please, and no one is going to think they are a freak.  I totally get that there is some sort of assumed safety of dressing however on Halloween.

But it is not for me.  Well, I could see dressing as a woman, but then being in an actual costume.  Like I did for this photo:


Other than that though..... I don't think I will ever just dress as a woman, and then go to work for Halloween.  Now just dressing as a woman and going to work on any random day.... hmm..... possibly!

Love you!

Love yourself!

Love Cute Converse with Embroidery!!

Image:
http://store.nike.com/us/en_us/pd/converse-x-patbo-chuck-taylor-all-star-high-top-womens-shoe/pid-11340121/pgid-11627209?cp=usns_pdsoc_nike_103016_mln_fbk_wmn_xct_rtgng_dpa_x_x_x&k_clickid=ef9608fa-3ce9-4f36-810f-501dca9add50  

Monday, October 24, 2016

Medical Community Ignorance


Some here may remember in a past post I wrote about being prescribed some medication for my enlarged prostate.  Specifically that drug is called Tamsulosin.  While I have the drug sitting at home, I have yet to try it.  I am a bit concerned about the common side effect of dizziness that people are reporting.  I am an avid duck hunter and I don't need any dizziness while out shooting a shotgun standing in a muddy marsh!!  Ha!

Anywho.... I went to my GP today to follow up on all of my urologist appointments.  I was discussing this drug with the nurse practitioner that I see.  (Which by the way I find a bit odd.  I go to see a doctor and instead they have me see an advanced nurse. Whatever! At least I get to see someone huh?)  I mentioned to her my concerns about taking this drug and I asked about a different one, Finasteride.

I've done a bit of research and found that Finasteride can help with male pattern balding as well as an enlarged prostate.  I found those two uses to be interesting to me for sure!  And low and behold, what did I also see, that it is an anti-androgyne!!  Occasionally it can have the side effect of breast growth!  Umm..... did someone say breast growth!  Yes, breast growth!

While reviewing the medication I suggested the nurse mentioned to me that an occasional side effect is "tissue growth in the chest area."  I told her straight up that I am transgender and some breast growth would not be unwanted.  She finished investigating Finasteride and went and spoke with the actual doctor in the office and came back to my room.  Her recommendation was to stick with the first drug and if I had problems with it, they will then later prescribe Finasteride.

She then said, well in regards to your transgender status.... And I was thinking, yes, what will your question be?  Are you going to ask me if I am interested in transitioning?  Are you going to ask if I am "just" a cross dresser?  Are you going to ask if I really want Finasteride to help me to become more feminine in my appearance?  What, what are you going to ask?

What did she ask?  "Are you monogamous?"  Am I monogamous?  Am I fucking monogamous?  She must have seen the look of disbelief on my face and I was not prepared to give her an appropriate answer, as in "oh by the way, one's gender status says nothing about their sexual habits." So she says, well we just need to make sure that we handle your health needs appropriately if you are not being monogamous, as well as your wife's needs.  So.... I simply told her, yes I am monogamous.

The appointment finished, I got my flu shot, and I was done for the day.  Upon leaving and having some reflection time, I think it is appropriate that the very next time I am there, I need to inform her to be a bit more sensitive and informed of transgender issues and that she needs to stop connecting one's gender status to their sex life.  I really should have told her this when she asked me the question, but honestly her question came out of left field and took me quite by surprise.  I have not been so open about my gender status and I am just learning what people's responses could be.  So now I know.  Soon she will know too!!

Love you!

Love yourself!

Educate the public!!

Oh, I totally forgot!!!  I had my latest post published over at Already Pretty.  You should go check it out as I really like the article I wrote!!


photo credit:
https://www.flickr.com/photos/42186300@N07/3987691850
https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=47338529

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Skinny Jeans & Cheetah Heels

Shoes - Kelly and Katie - Similar

This was a funny evening outfit for me.  We had a really full weekend with all sorts of things to get done, but I wanted to go out to dinner.  I spent the morning working furiously on all of my various jobs around the house and decided to get ready around two in the afternoon.  After I got out of the shower I asked Jules what she was thinking about wearing, she said a dress, and asked me what I was wearing.  This is the funny part, normally it is me in a dress and Jules in jeans, but this time I told Jules that I wanted to wear jeans.  Funny.  Hmm... well okay, maybe it does not come across as funny online as it was to me in real life.  Ha!


Anywho.... Jules asked what was up with me wanting to wear jeans.  I told her that it had to do with where we were going to go for dinner, Cattlemens.  It is a local steakhouse and I had gotten a coupon to use during this month as it is my birthday month.  Cattlemens happens to be kind of a down-home restaurant with good ole boys hanging out at the bar in their jeans, cowboy boots, and spurs on.  Well maybe not the spurs, but it is kind of western populated place.  Thus I thought that jeans would be much more appropriate to the venue.  Jules thought about it, and it was jeans for the both of us!


Off we went to Cattlemens.  While there, and stuffing ourselves silly with the endless salad and bread basket, in addition to our sumptuous steak and filling potatoes, I decided that they should change the name of the restaurant to "stuff-yourselves."  We eventually rolled ourselves out, went home and vegged out on the couch watching stupid TV for the rest of the night as we slowly digested our mega meal!

Love you!

Love yourself!

Love eating beef!

Friday, October 14, 2016

Black & White Tunic

Belt - ???? - Similar
Shoes - Flojo - Similar

I can never remember who makes the belt that I own!!  I always feel bad when I take these photos and I can name the manufacturer of everything that I am wearing except for my belts!  It is a bit funny.  I used to be an obsessive tag remover, but for the last few years I have stopped.  I have this vague notion that maybe when I tire of the clothes that I have, maybe I will go to a 2nd hand store and try and resell them.  But, if they have no tags, then they generally aren't interested.  With belts though, there are no tags to remove.  Once I clip the price tag off, the manufacturers name goes with it.  Hmm.... maybe this should be a shout-out to belt makers, put your name on them in some hidden, non-removable way!  Ha!  Maybe I'm just bonkers!


I wore this outfit while Jules and I went and got our nails done before heading off to Sparkle this past weekend.  Yeah, I am terribly behind on my outfit posts.  I'll tell ya, I am just so darn overwhelmed lately I can barely keep up with everything that I actually want to get done.  I know, I frequently complain here about a vast lack of time, but it is SO true!!  I suppose I just keep myself super busy to ward off the evil voices in my head, and a second, HA!!


Anywho.... Have I mentioned to you before how nice it is to wear blue jeans to get my toes done?  No?  Well, I love it.  Why?  Well often when I get my toes done I wear a skirt.  Then they very politely, and appropriately give me a little towel to wear over my knees.  It works, but it isn't very comfortable.  But a nice pair of stretchy jeans that I can just pull up, ahh, super comfortable.  It wouldn't seem like it, but it is.  Well to me at least, and a third, HA!


Okay.  That is about it for this lovely Friday folks!  This weekend, I need to go fit in, fixing up my duck decoys, shooting practice, continuing to remodel my kitchen, hopefully dress up nice and cute and go out for a steak dinner, oh and work on all of my other side projects, oh and clean my garage, oh and re-stuff insulation into my ceiling.......... oh and yeah I've got to finish my article for Already Pretty....... aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh............... I think I'm going to POP!!!

Love you!

Love yourself!

Stay Busy!!