|About 6 months ago.|
I will be the first to admit that my transition has not gone the way that I expected it to. My whole life has been spent picturing people chasing me down with torches and pitchforks. I know that would never happen, but as well I am the type that is afraid of a shark biting me when I jump in my pool. I know that it isn't real, and I know it is not ever going to happen. But that doesn't make the fear go away.
What does? Facing those fears.
This has been a long slow event for me. I see that now. Some part of me must have known what was coming because while some may say my easy transition is due to luck, I see now that much of it was due to hard work. Much of that work was done by those who have come before me. They are the ones who endured much of the vitriol that is born of ignorance. They are the ones who helped to open the door. Me? I'm just taking advantage of that opening.
There are many things that I am glad I figured out, a few things that could have been better, and really only one thing that I have absolutely regretted.
Glad I figured out:
Name - I have been through a few of them. I couldn't imagine having the first female name I used on all of my legal records. Nope. SO glad I figured out the name thing.
Clothes - 28 days at work, how many outfits do you think I have repeated? Zero. Yup, zero. Do you read this blog at all? Have you seen my clothes? It is as though I have been preparing to be out at work for the last 10 years. I have been so thrilled to be out as me and not only not worry about my clothes, but to have my clothes bring me strength. It is funny. I have said before that my clothes are my friends, and I feel as though my friends have finally come out to play in the real world. Can you guess my favorite clothing store? White House Black Market anyone!!!
Community connections - Yeah, this is another biggy. A real biggy. This has been central to the easy transition I have had. If not for the support of the people in my life, I would not be able to do what I have done. It is not merely that people are supportive, it is that I took the time to build community connections prior to coming out.
|Eeeek!!! So glad I learned!!|
Hormones - This one was life changing for me. It really opened my eyes to my reality. I laugh at who I thought I was prior to last July and changing my hormones to the right ones.
Therapy - Have I mentioned before that I love my therapist? Well I do! Not merely because she is my therapist, but because she is a specialist with gender issues. Her listening ear and gentle guidance has been so lovely!
Makeup - I started with getting foundation from Target or Walmart. It functioned, but it didn't make me feel like a queen. Now? I love that I have had the last ten to fifteen years of my life to practice with this stuff. Practice is necessary. Who do I use today? A combo of Clinique and Urban Decay, mostly just UD.
Hair - my first wig cost probably about forty bucks. My latest? About four hundred and fifty bucks. Why pay so much? Because it rocks! Currently I have three main hair pieces. They are all by Jon Renau and in a large size cap for my large noggen. Amber - long and curly. Zara - long and straight. Cameron - short and straight, and the most expensive due to the hand tied lace top cap.
A sense of humor - This is important. There is a certain reality to my situation. I was born with a male body, bummer for me! People like people who smile. Smile more.
The world does not revolve around me being transgender - When I first started going out in public, I was sure that every little laugh, every mean look, every rude person, was doing that because I am transgender. When in reality more than 99.9% of the time none of that had anything to do with me. Some people laugh. Some people have weird looks on their faces. Some people are rude. And that is just how they are, and they would be that way regardless of how I chose to dress. The worst that I have seen from humanity was while I was presenting as a male. The best I have seen from humanity has been while I am me.
|Ahhh..... that hair!!!|
What could have been done better:
Shoes - I wish I had invested more time in finding cute, all day wearable, functional shoes! This has been hard as it is a super weak link in my outfits. Shoes I thought would be wearable really are not when you are talking about being on your feet for oh, 8 hours a day, walking circles around your classroom.
Bras - Good wearable bras, that are good for the entire day, day after day, yeah, I should have spent more time on this!
Legal name change - I got the court date and social security number done with prior to going back to work, but I wish I had gotten it all done. I'm currently on Birth Certificate. Then onto Driver's License. And lastly will be Passport. Well actually, after the DL, then I will start doing everything else - bank, bills, utilities, you know all that stuff? Yeah, I wish it was done.
Some sort of functional scheduling system - Since I switched to estrogen my memory has gone to crap! Seriously! It used to be so easy to pretty much remember everything, always, for all time! Now? Yeah, not so much!
My one regret:
Electrolysis - Wow, I wish I had finished this up long before I decided to go full time. It really would have been mentally much easier to have had that done by now. Too bad for me that even though I read this advice, I thought it would never apply to me! Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!! Ahh well!
Well then, there ya go! That is my 1+ month reflection of being full time at my job.