Friday, August 25, 2017
My Shopping Diet
Wow, with all of my more recent going on's, I have almost totally forgotten about my shopping diet! Which might make one think that I have neglected to live up to my aforementioned plans, but that is actually not the case. Not to say that I have strictly stuck to my plans, but I am getting ahead of myself.
So, let me back up for a moment. If you don't know, back in February I decided to join my wife on her diet. My particular issue at that time was not weight, but was shopping. My wife was trying to lose weight, and I kind of wanted to help motivate her. Thus it was that I decided to attempt to not shop for any clothes at all, for one year.
What has happened you ask? Well, well, well! Can we say hormones anyone?? Yeah, I can! So.... how do we get from a shopping diet to hormones? Well.... part of what allowed me to realize my current situation was the shopping diet. See..... I am pretty sure that I was using shopping to help stave off the dysphoria. I have not spoken much of the dysphoria that I feel. I kind of think that is because I am SO used to it, that it just seems normal. Since it is SO normal, I don't really notice it much anymore. That is not to say that it isn't there, oh it is there, it is just that I don't pay attention to it so much. Thus it was that when I attempted to stop shopping for clothes all of the time, it was one less tool at my disposal to help me. Which was just one more thing coming together to a head that helped me to understand who I really am and what I actually feel.
During this time, I have not stuck to my rule of absolutely no shopping. I have shopped. But I have not shopped like I have done in the past. Many times in the past it was a very common thing for me to go visit an outlet mall for a day or two and come back with many, many bags. I have not done anything close to that. I have visited the outlet mall. I did buy a few items. As well, here and there I have purchased a few things. But if we are talking about percents, I would say that my shopping is down to about 10% of what it has been in the past.
A good thing about going on hormones is that I no longer feel the drive to irresponsibly shop. I mean, I have the ability to support my shopping desires, but still, it has been a bit wasteful. I see now that much of my shopping was not to fill a closet, it was to fill a gap within myself. A gap that unfortunately, no amount of shopping could ever fill. Oh it's fun to try! But at the end of the day, it has felt a bit hollow.
I know that I will still shop. I still love clothes! I still love shopping! So fret not my fellow fashion lovers, I will continue to update my wardrobe. I just kind of feel now as though it will be a choice and not a compulsion.
Oh and for inquiring minds that would like to know, I did only really do this thing to help support my awesomely awesome wifey wife! So.... how is her diet going? Hmmm.... let's ask a question of her.... so cuteness when do you think you stopped dieting? So.... her answer is probably back in June. So yeah, there is that! No more for her! No, she did not reach her goal, but maybe she decided to change her goals. Hmm.... I think she's still trying to figure some of those thoughts out for herself! Good luck wifey! I love you and know that you can do whatever you want, even if that is just enjoying the Oreos!
Okay, well, hmm..... there you go peeps!
Love, loving yourself!