Monday, November 28, 2016

Finally Feels Like Fall

Coat - Guess - Similar
Top - White House Black Market - Similar
Leggings - Connection18 - Similar
Booties - Madden Girl - Similar
Belt - ?? - Similar

This past weekend we finally got some cold weather into the part of California that I live in!  Yay!  It was so wonderful finally feeling cold again!  For a transgender individual such as myself, cold weather is such a wonderful blessing!  Seriously it is.  Besides the awesomeness of having many layers of clothes on that help disguise my obvious male figure, wearing a wig during even warm days can be so darn uncomfortable.

I so wish that I could still grow out my own hair.  Boo-hiss for balding!  Ugh!  I remember growing up and hoping with all of my mite that I would never end up going bald.  But alas, genetics are an inescapable bitch!  Okay, well maybe if I had started finasteride and rogaine treatments back in my early thirties, or maybe even late teens, then maybe I could have warded off the evil balding genes for at least a while!

Have I ever told you that my natural hair would actually get to be about the same color as the wigs I currently wear?  Well it was!  I am actually a brunette, but apparently it is not to firm of a brunette color as with just a bit of swimming and sunning, my hair bleaches out to a nice blond, again, very similar to my blond wigs.  So pretty much the only difference between my old natural hair and my wigs is the fullness of my wigs.  I would say that my hair looked as though maybe I only had about half of the hairs of my wigs.

So uh yeah.  Thrilling insights into my hair, right?  I think sometimes I like the partially frivolous nature of my blog as all too frequently I torment myself with way too serious thoughts.  Yup, on occasion those thoughts appear here as well, but I still like to think of my blog as a light hearted fashion blog with a light sprinkling of seriousness.  Ha!  I just made myself laugh.

Love you!

Love yourself!

Love the lighter side of life!

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Pleated Skirt

Skirt - White House Black Market - Similar
Top - White House Black Market - Similar
Shoes - Madden Girl - Similar
Belt - ???? - Similar

I absolutely love this skirt!  I have probably written about it before, but I will say it again, and most likely again in the future as well, I LOVE this skirt!  It is so much fun to wear!  It is pleated all the way around and is made of such smooth silky material that I love the way it moves while walking around in it.  It feels like I am wearing a cloud!  What exactly does it feel like to be wearing a cloud?  Okay, well I really don't know what that would feel like, but I would imagine that it would be all light and fluffy and swishy! Just like this skirt is!

The thing I don't really like about it though is that it doesn't do much at all to give me a bit more shape.  But you know, I am a bit over that.  I used to be very concerned that I had all the right curves in all the right places; so that I looked more like a woman.  But ya know, not every woman has all of the right curves in all of the right places.  Sometimes they have a few extra curves in places they would prefer not to and sometimes they don't have any curves in places they would prefer to have them.  Such is life huh?  And such is my body.  I may have been born with a bit of a male body, but that is not going to stop me from enjoying fun clothing!  And this skirt is super fun!

Really, when I am walking around in this skirt I just get this big old shit eating grin on my face, like I am a super happy little clam!  (What is up with that saying?  Like clams are super happy or something?  Why?  Why would they be happy?  What is up with their lives?  Maybe I should investigate what it would be like to live as a clam.  Oh wait, that's right, I'm not trans-species, just transgender.  Hmm tangent much????)

Okay.  Well that is about it folks.  I hope that things are going well in your lives.  My last post seemed to be a bit of a thought provoker for many of you.  I will return to it again in the future as many of your thoughts got me thinking in a variety of directions!

Love you!

Love yourselves!

Love Happy Clams!

(Hmm..... maybe a happy clam is not a clam at all but a euphemism.  Hmmm.... okay now my mind is FULLY in the gutter! Ha!)

Thursday, November 10, 2016

Numbers - The Truth of Partner's Acceptance

Have I ever mentioned before that I really like numbers?  There are all sorts of fascinating things that happen with numbers that are often overlooked.  For instance, I often go to various events where you buy raffle tickets, but them into various buckets, and then cross your fingers that your name will be called.  These events are truly very random drawings and yet, often the draws do not seem very random.  Some people tend to get their names drawn more than others.  It just happens to be the nature of apparent randomness.  Just like my phone, I will put the music on random play and frequently the same song comes up again and again.  Random?  Well yeah, but it sure doesn't seem to be a very good random!

Anywho..... some of the numbers I have been looking at lately are the true numbers of acceptance of spouses of transgender people.  Within my research I have been looking at numbers of MtF transgender people who are not transitioning, that have told their spouse or girlfriend of their gender variance.  The common theory states that it is very rare for a genetic woman to be accepting of a gender variant male to female significant other.  My own theory is that is actually simply based upon fear and not a true reflection of reality.

Many gender variant people spend a large amount of their lives in hiding.  They fear what might happen if they are honest with those around them.  And why shouldn't they be fearful?  They dominant narrative states that there exists an overwhelming threat to the transgender community from a large variety of sources.  From being attacked on the street, to being harassed in the bathroom, to being fired from your job, to being shunned from any sort of companionship.

But, unfortunately from what I can tell, many gender variant people are not actually willing to risk attempting these actions to discover for themselves whether the narrative will pan out that way for them or not.  Now don't get me wrong.  I understand that bad things happen.  Bad things happen all of the times.  For no reason.  To good people.  And they shouldn't happen.  But such is the nature of life.  It is unpredictable.

Alas, I fear I have drifted off topic yet again!  Low is me!  Okay, focus here.

The focus of my personal study has been trying to decode true numbers of reactions of the reveal of being gender variant within relationships.  My study group has been the users at  My method has been to simply comb through the various threads and categorizing people and their partner's response to them being gender variant of some sort.  It has not always been clear but I have tried my best to determine what happened within their relationship once they told their partner.

Some early results??

Of the 458 members I have included:

363 did not leave the relationship upon the reveal
280 are at least somewhat accepting
29 are in what is called a Don't Ask Don't Tell situation
45 didn't leave but are not accepting of the partner's gender variance
23 are accepting genetic women
74 are partners who left because of the gender variance
20 left but not because of the gender variance

Okay - a proviso with these numbers, some members reported their responses from several different partners over the years, thus the numbers may not total as one might expect.  This explains why their are variations within the totals.

So some percentages huh?

84% of partners did not leave the relationship upon the reveal
74% percent of the partners are at least somewhat accepting of the gender variance, which could range from DADT to full inclusion and acceptance
68% would be considered to be openly accepting of their partner's gender variance

These results are what I have up to this point.  I will continue to compile the numbers.  There is about 10-15 years worth of data on that website and so far I have gone back about two months only!  I don't really know how long I will continue to do this for.  We shall see.

But so far, I would have to say that the common assertion that a partner will NOT accept a gender variant partner is completely wrong.  Apparently far more partners DO accept their gender variant partner.  Who knew?  Well I personally had a suspicion.


Love you!

Love numbers!

BTW - This data was all taken from publicly accessible areas of the website.  Anyone can find this information if they so choose.

Here is the raw data, if you are really interested:

Thursday, November 3, 2016

Love This Shoe!! - Boo-Hoo For Me!!


I will freely admit, I do not have official permission to use this image!  I know, right! Image thief!  Well does it help that I am advertising the Converse brand?  Probably not.  I am totally in love with this shoe though.  I have taken to recently wearing Converse shoes to work almost everyday.  None of them are quite this feminine though.  Well maybe a couple of them, but not quite this pretty!  I really like that they have actual embroidery on them.  Often with Converse they will have painted on images that resemble embroidery, but they don't have actual embroidery on them.  This pair though, has really embroidery done on them.  So why am I SO bummed?  Well they no longer have them in my size!!

Boo-Hoo for me!!  Um.... I am majorly bumming!  So, if anyone knows where to buy these in a ladies size 10, then let me know!  I will be eternally grateful!

Speaking of Boo-Hoo, reader Clare wrote in and asked:

Off topic...thoughts on dressing en femme (to work) on Halloween?

To which I will say that I have never done that.  I have considered it, but I yet to actually do it.  And I am kind of mixed on my thoughts on doing it ever.  On the one hand, I am interested in going to work fully dressed as a woman, but at the same time, I am kind of not interested in that.  As well, I don't really like the idea of dressing as a woman for Halloween.  Halloween for me is a time to dress specifically in a costume.  Thus if I were to dress as a woman for Halloween, does that mean that I am presenting myself dressed as a woman, as a costume?  I kind of don't like that idea.  I don't like the idea of me dressed a woman being a costume.

I totally get though why so many other MtF transgender people do dress as a woman though on Halloween.  They see it as the one time of the year when they can get out dressed as they please, and no one is going to think they are a freak.  I totally get that there is some sort of assumed safety of dressing however on Halloween.

But it is not for me.  Well, I could see dressing as a woman, but then being in an actual costume.  Like I did for this photo:

Other than that though..... I don't think I will ever just dress as a woman, and then go to work for Halloween.  Now just dressing as a woman and going to work on any random day.... hmm..... possibly!

Love you!

Love yourself!

Love Cute Converse with Embroidery!!