Tuesday, May 3, 2016
How Happy - How Sad
The very first time Jules and I took our picture with me dressed as a woman was about 10 years ago. That particular day she and I decided to have a private wedding ceremony where we unofficially remarried each other while I was dressed as a woman. That photo is the one pictured above. And I officially do NOT like that photo. I love what happened on that day, but wow, do I dislike the photos. None of those photos were going to be shown to anyone anyhow.
The next photo of Jules and I was done purposefully for publication on this site:
Now this photo, I think, is super cute! But.... the thing I don't like about it is..... that is not Jules. Well, it is Jules, but it is Jules in disguise. Why in disguise? Well, that is the sad part of this tale - unfortunately Jules and I have felt an impressive need to remain anonymous, while still trying to share a bit of our lives.
So when Jules decided to join the blog-o-sphere, she did so while disguising her appearance. Here is the shot she originally put up on her profile page:
This shot was done on purpose, to hopefully disguise her a bit to make her less recognizable to anybody that matters. It was funny as recently somebody commented on it, that she was looking away from the camera in sort of a shy demure way and that she has changed from that person and so she should change her photo. Well...... what she didn't say, but I will, is that it was done on purpose. She didn't capture a moment in her life that emoted her personality, nope it was done for protection. Protection from what? From potential backlash, because if you haven't noticed, I am transgender, and some people on this planet find that to be offensive. Ha! Ignorance is stunning, and sometimes mean.
It is actually pretty sad to me, that because I choose to dress as a woman, I need to hide my true identity. While I have been blogging for many years, and have kept my true identity private, I think it sucks that I feel the need to do so. Why can't I be open? Why can't I live in relative safety of not being totally fucked over if my true identity were to be discovered?
I think partially in response to these feelings, I decided awhile ago to begin to slowly come out to those around me. I started telling family, and then friends, and work associates and my employer. I was quite aware of those events, but maybe I wasn't entirely aware of Jules' response.
While she was unsure of my decision to begin sharing who I really am with others, somewhere along the way, maybe she didn't even realize it, she made a choice to come out as well. And low and behold, our pictures changed as well:
So..... while I do still feel the need to not publish my identifying info on my blog, I am much less worried about what might happen if I am discovered. Because really, who is left that matters? Not really much of anyone.
Love, love, love!!! (oh, but not that picture at the top of this post! Yuck, yuck, yuck! LOL!!)