Thursday, April 21, 2016

Gender Fluid? Gender Phooey!

Frequently when I attempt to discuss my gender with others, they will say, 'oh, well you are gender fluid.'   As of late, it has been occurring so much, that when I hear it, I throw up a little in my mouth.  Okay, well that just may be a bit of an exaggeration, but seriously, I am a bit sick of people telling me that I am gender fluid.

Do you know what gender fluid means people?  Let's take a look at this definition:
Gender fluid is a gender identity which refers to a gender which varies over time. A gender fluid person may at any time identify as male, female, neutrois, or any other non-binary identity, or some combination of identities. Their gender can also vary at random or vary in response to different circumstances.
(Taken from: )

In response to this outpouring of "Nadine is gender fluid" folks, I created the above graphic.  My gender identity never changes, thus instead of referencing me as gender fluid, it would be far more accurate if you referenced my gender as gender static.  While my presentation fluctuates, my identity never changes.

After making this graphic, I realized that it may also help to explain my gender variance to those people in my life that have said "Oh, well you are eventually going to transition," and those who have said "Oh, so you have no gender issues, and you see yourself as a male, and really this is all just about the pretty clothes for you."

See folks, here is my biggest difficulty in discussing my gender with many people, the vast majority of the world is perfectly fine, and accepting of the idea of a gender binary.  People are either male or female.  And when trying to explain to someone how I don't feel male, they think, oh well then you are female.  And when trying to explain to someone how I don't feel female, they think, oh well then you are male.  Why?  Because their concept of gender has only two positions, you are either male or you are female.  There are no other options.

I understand this stuff coming from cisgender folk, but it has confused the hell out of me when it comes from other transgender people.  But the reality is that a large number of the transgender community is also perfectly fine with the gender binary.  For example those who transition from one gender to the other, guess what??  Yup, gender binary.

Me?  To understand me, you have to accept that there can be genders that exist outside of the gender binary.  Sometimes I feel like how Galileo must have felt talking with people, saying, the Earth rotates around the sun.  It is reality, all you need to do is accept it.

Accept it people.

Love you!


  1. Great post!

    Thanks for sharing.

    Clare B.

  2. It really sucks when even other trans people try to define gender for you. =(

    Thanks for sharing this.

    1. Yeah I agree. I think it is something with people, that they see themselves in others. It is hard not to.

  3. Oh. My. God! Stop it, people! Nadine is Nadine, problem solved.

    I hate it when people try to tell me about my gender identity. For me, genderfluidity was a symptom of existential crisis, which was a result of attempting to define my gender. I achieved peace by accepting my gender as undefinable.

    All I know is, you look amazing in black & white. And you're hellza cute dressed down in your stubble and hoodie too. And so brave for putting yourself out there on the internet! Keep being awesome! <3

    1. Thanks Kelly! You are so sweet. What nice thoughts!