Monday, January 4, 2016

Gender Me, Gender you, Gender Everyone, Everywhere

"How human of you."

"That was such a human thing to do."

"You are such a human."

But that is not the way that people actually talk is it? People don't say those types of statements.  People say things like:

"How male of you."

"That was such a male thing to do."

"You are such a male."

Well at least they like to say things like that to me.  I don't even know if they are aware of it.  I don't think they are trying to be mean about it.  In reality I don't think they are really even talking about me or saying anything about me and what gender I am.

I think they are attempting to determine what gender means for them.

Interesting huh?  Well maybe to me at least.  Obviously I am no scientist or doctorate in human behavior but I am transgender and I do ponder my own gender just about every single day that I live.  I also enjoy being an observer of human behavior.  Oh and as well, it kind of irks me when people gender me and it continually makes me ponder why people do it.

So back to my point already..... I think that without really knowing it, most people easily and readily try and place people into one gender or the other in an attempt to figure out what gender means.  If you do this thing or that thing, then it is a typically male or female thing for you to do.

Most males that I meet observe me and know right away that I am not a typical male.  They never mistreat me in anyway, but they fully accept the concept that maybe I am a bit different than them.

But many of the females that know about me being transgender, will often point out the typically male things that I do.  I may be dressed or not, but many times when I do something like burp loudly, it will often be met with the commentary of "you are such a male!"

What if I said to them, "that makes you less of a woman to do that and more of a male?"  I don't think it would be responded to very well.  But I think that without really understanding what they are doing, they are attempting to determine the concept of gender for themselves and they are not actually telling me that I am any more or less male or female.

I think that most people don't really consider their gender.  They don't really think much beyond their genitals determine their gender.  They are pretty confident in being male because they have a penis or female because they have a vagina.  But if you discount that criteria for determining gender, which is what the concept of being transgender dictates, then what exactly is it that does define gender?

Honestly, I really have no idea.  What I don't need is for people to gender things.  I don't need for people to say that things are male or female.  My behaviors don't need to be gendered.  My likes and dislikes don't need to be gendered.  My products don't need to be gendered.

The world does not need to be described in terms of male or female to allow us to figure out what we all are, because regardless of what anyone tells us, we all know what gender we are.  It just so happens that for the vast majority of the populace, the genitals match the gender.

For me, I don't think I am somewhere between being male or female because of my likes or dislikes, or behaviors, I think that way because of how I feel inside.  Because of how I view myself.

Don't will all have that freedom?

Well.... shouldn't we all have that freedom?

Love you.



  1. I just think it's human nature to generalize and put people into two discernible buckets: male/female, straight/gay, tall/short. Men, in general, fart and burp louder than women. Women, in general, like babies. It is not a statement about male or female, just a way to compartmentalize data bombarding us. If we had to deal with every shade of gray, our heads would explode.

    1. Yeah, I totally get what you are saying. I enjoy compartmentalizing data, and labeling it; which I know that many folks are opposed to.

      But take the two of us for instance. We have disagreed in the past regarding the TG issue. I would consider us both TG while you would not. Is it okay then for me to reference you as TG? Or would you prefer that I do not, as that is not how you personally identify?

      It is fine to compartmentalize, but when someone states what their preference is, shouldn't that be honored?