Thursday, November 5, 2015

I Thought You Were A Dandy Fellow

Unfortunately due to the unpopularity and controversy surrounding my gender variances I do not feel comfortable revealing what I am actually employed in doing, which sucks when you think about it!  Anywho.... I work with a large and varied clientele and there are also many different levels of workers at my job.  I am somewhat higher up in the ranks due primarily to my education level and the amount of experience I have in my field.

I also am a bit different than the other workers.  Obviously!  I mean if you have been reading my blog for any length of time you know that I present in a very gender non-conforming manner.  Some may say that it is an androgynous presentation, but I take that to mean that people are confused as to my gender.  Nope, they are not.  Everyone takes me to be a male, but a male that clearly does things that other males do not do.  Thus, I prefer the phrase gender non-conforming, as opposed to androgynous.
Okay... maybe a bit long of an intro, but I wanted to try and intro the scene first.

I walked out of my office one day and an older gentleman who I have worked around for several years approached me.  I live in a very rural community surrounded mostly by farmers and ranchers.  While this gentleman works at my job site and is many years older than me, he is far lower down the ladder.  I think he used to be a farmer; which would make sense as part of his duties is to upkeep the onsite garden that we have here.

So.... he walks up to me and says "You know when I first met you I thought that you were a dandy kind of fellow, if you know what I mean by that."  Which I did not!  I figured that maybe he was insinuating that he thought that I was gay.  Which I don't care if people think or not, that is their choice.  He continued "Well I figured that with all of your fanciness, you were a real dandy, but I want you to know that I read you wrong, and I think that you are a hard worker, and that you are alright."

I laughed, thanked him, and the two of us walked our separate ways.  While I was a bit unsure of what exactly he meant by thinking that I was a dandy, I knew that he was offering me a sincere complement.  I was not raised on a ranch or a farm, but what I do know about ranchers and farmers is that they respect one thing, hard workers.  So while this older gentleman may have at first been kind of taken aback by many of my gender non-conforming behaviors, through being able to observe the work that I do, I was able to change his opinion of me.  Thus I was able to prove that I deserve his respect, which is HUGE!

And I was proud of myself for being willing to be me and show the world who I am.  And I was proud of him for being willing to observe, reflect, change his opinion, and be open and honest with me about where he was and how he changed his thoughts.

What a refreshing world we live in!

Love you!

Love yourself!

Love others for they are human as well!



  1. Good for you
    good for the older gentleman

  2. One step at a time.

    Clare B

  3. You are a great person and when people get to know you they can easily see that. Glad to hear he shared his thoughts with you. One day at a time, one person at a time.