Friday, September 25, 2015

What a Lie!

Anyone can be anything they want.  Why do we tell this to our children?  Why do we set them up for failure?  This is SO not true.  It is quite impossible to be anything you want to be.  For example, what if I want to be a  6 foot tall blond bombshell with big natural curves?  Yeah, that is just not going happen.  Ever.  No matter what I do.

Now what should we tell our children instead?

Anyone can learn anything.

But yet, that is not what we tell them.  Instead we tell them lies like, oh that is okay honey, you can't do math because you don't really have a math brain.  What a bunch of crap!  There is no such thing as a math brain, or a science brain, or a language arts brain.  Nope sorry.  That is just not how brains function.

Do you know how brains function?

Given enough time, effort, energy, persistence, and dedication, anyone can learn anything!

Try it.  You may like it.

Maybe if we told children this truth instead then they would understand that the difference between success and failure is the amount of drive you have.  How driven are you?  How driven are you to put in the time, effort, energy, persistence, and dedication to learn all the little bits and pieces that fit together to form something that you can be highly proud of?  Not to just fool yourself and say, it is okay, I am happy with mediocrity.

Telling folks that they should strive for happiness regardless of the outcomes is the downfall of confidence.

Confidence comes from achievements.

Achievements are the results of drive.

Drive is exemplified by how much:





& dedication

that you put forth to learn and practice something that you can be proud of.

Don't be proud of simply breathing.  Be proud because you accomplished something hard that took drive to achieve.

Love you!

Love yourself because you are driven!


  1. The downside of this is that we - and especially our children - live in a culture rooted in the expectation of instant gratification. It has been estimated that to fully master something, whether it is the piano, painting or dance, to excel at it, takes around 10,000 hours of practice. That's around 10 years if you practice 3 hours a day every day. But to learn a new skill to a reasonable proficiency is a lot less daunting, perhaps 20-40 hours. An hour a day for a month. That's achievable for most of us. You can learn to code, cook, juggle or ride a unicycle. Surprise yourself and your family.
    It annoys me when people almost boast that they can't do simple maths as if it was a badge of honor, when they wouldn't dream of boasting about being functionally illiterate. Casinos, lotteries and online gambling sites love these people. They'd go broke without them.

    1. So true Susie! This whole instant gratification thing sucks! It seems as though less and less people are willing to work for what they want. The concept of earning something is becoming less and less acceptable for folks.

      I do agree that 10,000 hours is a bit much, but it is totally true that just a few hours can bring about much greater proficiency if not expert level.

      Thanks for the good thoughts!

    2. The 10,000 hours estimate is what it takes to become top class in a competitive field: a chess grandmaster, a first rank athlete, dancer or musician. Most of us have more modest aims (and day jobs). 20 hours sounds on the low side for real proficiency, though. Even if it's 100, though, that's not terribly daunting to learn a new language or how to play the piano.
      I should confess, though, that I am a terrible dilettante. I flit between half a dozen different interests at any one time and never stick with one long enough to class what I'm doing as practice, and I pick up more all the time when something new and shiny diverts me.

  2. Well said!

    You live an honest life in your words AND actions.