Thursday, September 10, 2015
The Slippery Slope
It has often been said that what the difference is between a cross dresser and a transsexual, is about two years. Ba-dum-ch!!!
What a fabulous joke huh? Well not so much for the spouse of a cross dresser who is wondering where this newly discovered obsession is going to go. This often brings up this idea that there is this slide from occasional pantie wearing that progresses to dressing up fully, and then going out in public, and eventually ending up with full blown transition.
From my estimation there are many, many problems with this theory. Not the least of which is that often a spouse is not told of a cross dressers proclivities until later in the relationship. So while to the spouse it appears as though this cross dressing obsession is a new thing, frequently it has been a life long thing that has been hidden away or has been repressed.
That was my short little introduction on my thoughts on this idea of a slide to transition and I think it is important to state that before I say that I am coming to the realization that I am way more towards the transsexual side of the spectrum than I ever realized. But I really hope that anyone out there in the blog-o-sphere that is reading this can understand that there was not ever a progression that led to me becoming transsexual.
This has really been a dawning realization that this is who I have always been.
I never really put together some things before. Like the vast amount of envy that I have always had over the female body. Like the fact that no matter how much I diet, or workout, or perform yoga, I have never liked my own body. (Which is ridiculous btw - I am 5'9" and 152 lbs and can fit into size 4-6 skirts.) How about that I was upset that I developed more male characteristics during puberty? Or that I have never liked my friend between my legs. This list can go on....
When I list it out, it appears much more obvious. I would think that when reading this that maybe one might think, 'um gee isn't it obvious?' Um... yeah.... maybe now it is obvious, but seriously along the way, I never really saw it. It honestly is something that is just becoming a conscious thought. But it has always been there. It is not something that has developed. The only thing that has changed at all, is simply my ability to put the pieces together and understand what picture the puzzle pieces created.
Does it mean that I will pursue transition?
Because I really understand that I can handle how I currently live.
And I understand that transition would never be enough.
It would never be enough, because I don't want to be a male that transitions to living as a female.
To be a female, a born with the body of a female, female, is what I want.
"Slope of log-log plot" by Brews ohare - Own work.