Tuesday, September 29, 2015

White Tights

Tunic - WHBM - Similar
Belt - Mossimo - Similar
Tights - Target - Similar
Shoes - Fitzwell - Similar

On many occasions readers have suggested that I try a pair of pantyhose while wearing a certain outfit or two and while I have honestly considered the suggestion, I have yet to even try it.  But the white tights I am wearing in this outfit might be considered to be a close second?  Maybe?  I don't know!  But I do know that I like the look of them with this tunic.  But I will say that with the white tights and the Mary Jane like pumps, it does appear to be a bit "little girly."

Several of my tunics though are too short for me to feel quite comfortable while wearing them with nothing underneath them though.  And I feel that what I am wearing underneath them should be visible.  So, I like the tights, maybe I should try a different pair of shoes with this next time??  Oh and I don't know if you can really tell, but the belt has a white stretchy back portion to it, which plays off nicely from the tights as well.

I took a few shots of it as well without the belt, just for comparison purposes.  I think it looks much better with the belt.  Actually I think there are very few outfits that do not look better with a belt of some sort.  Jules although does not always agree with me.  She prefers many of her outfits to be without a belt and often thinks I should not wear one.  Interesting differences huh?

Oh well!  Such is life!

Again, I am still far too busy for one little person to deal with...... so....... I am loosing my shit people!!!!!!

Oh an interesting thing.  I determined the other day that I kind of wish their were some sort of words to accurately describe those of us existing in the middle.  I kind of don't like being referenced as a male or as a female.  Neither one really fits me.  And while there are words out there that some have invented to describe us, none of them are in popular usage enough that everyone understands them.  Ah life!!  Again, such is life!!

Okay, gotta run!

Love you!

Love yourselves!

Love belts!

(I love lamp!)

Friday, September 25, 2015

What a Lie!

Anyone can be anything they want.  Why do we tell this to our children?  Why do we set them up for failure?  This is SO not true.  It is quite impossible to be anything you want to be.  For example, what if I want to be a  6 foot tall blond bombshell with big natural curves?  Yeah, that is just not going happen.  Ever.  No matter what I do.

Now what should we tell our children instead?

Anyone can learn anything.

But yet, that is not what we tell them.  Instead we tell them lies like, oh that is okay honey, you can't do math because you don't really have a math brain.  What a bunch of crap!  There is no such thing as a math brain, or a science brain, or a language arts brain.  Nope sorry.  That is just not how brains function.

Do you know how brains function?

Given enough time, effort, energy, persistence, and dedication, anyone can learn anything!

Try it.  You may like it.

Maybe if we told children this truth instead then they would understand that the difference between success and failure is the amount of drive you have.  How driven are you?  How driven are you to put in the time, effort, energy, persistence, and dedication to learn all the little bits and pieces that fit together to form something that you can be highly proud of?  Not to just fool yourself and say, it is okay, I am happy with mediocrity.

Telling folks that they should strive for happiness regardless of the outcomes is the downfall of confidence.

Confidence comes from achievements.

Achievements are the results of drive.

Drive is exemplified by how much:





& dedication

that you put forth to learn and practice something that you can be proud of.

Don't be proud of simply breathing.  Be proud because you accomplished something hard that took drive to achieve.

Love you!

Love yourself because you are driven!


Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Love This Dress

Dress - Ruby Rox - Similar
Scarf - ?? - Similar
Sweater - 29th and Madison - Similar
Shoes - Tahari - Similar

I absolutely love this dress!  But I have to admit that I have never actually worn it outside of my house at all, ever!  Ugh!  That is due to not having the right occasion to wear it.  I feel as though it is kind of a get out and dance dress, or maybe a nice wine party, or maybe????  Maybe that is the problem.  Maybe I can't really think of on to wear it.

Hmmm...... where to wear this dress??  Life's deep ponderables huh?

Anywho.... I picked up this lovely little number while Jules and I were thrift store shopping in the Los Angeles area.  While perusing the aisles I happened upon this and held it up for Jules' inspection.  To which she told me, no, she did not think that it would work for me as it is strapless.

That is the first picture that I have actually wearing a strapless dress.  I think that it looks surprisingly good actually.  I always kind of figured that the best way to show my arms is to not show them at all, but in this photo they do not look all that huge to me.  (Wow, I am so flattering to myself!)  Okay, so my upper body looks good.  (Boy, that was tough to even write!)

Further about this outfit, is the added element of the scarf.  This is also a thrift store pickup from some shopping trip.  I really like the contrast of it against the dress.  Being as the dress is white with black polka dots and the scarf is black with whitish polka dots, I think they look really good together.  The dress actually came with a pink satin belt, but using the scarf instead kind of upgrades the age appropriateness of the dress.  With the pink belt it looks too little girly.

So.... where to wear this item?  Any suggestions good readers?  I'd love to hear your thoughts.  Most of the places I go, movies, Costco, general mall shopping, museums, out to dinner, none of them seem to be very appropriate for this dress.  So I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Love you!

Love yourself, for you are good!


Sunday, September 20, 2015

The End of the Trip

I know, I know, I used the above photo for my previous post on my trip, but it is a great start to this post as well, so, it is what it is.  This photo was taken in front of the Grant Park Best Western in Chicago upon Jules and I arriving there after our fun, but event-less trip to Wisconsin.  Basically after our long drive, we got into the hotel and crashed!  Jules though was so sweet, she got me a massage at a place right down from where we were staying.  I was a bit tuckered out so it was really nice!  And no, I did not dress as a woman, I changed to male mode.

Anywho... the next day we got up early and got out to see the city.  First I wondered around Grant Park on an early morning walk, in male mode.  And snapped these shots:

I returned to the hotel, where Jules was finally awake.  After changing, we went out and hit the city.  Our first stop was the Sky Deck.  If you are ever in Chicago, I highly recommend this attraction.  It was pretty cool.  We too other travelers advice and showed up early.  From the look of all of the robes and places to hold people, it looked as though we did it right, as there was hardly any wait for us at all.  I would say it took us maybe fifteen minutes at most to make it up to the top.

Well if you can make it out at all through this very crappy picture, here I am at the top of the tower, on the Sky Deck.  I am wearing my very thrilling outfit of jeans, tennis shoes, and my white Guess tunic.  Here is a much more thrilling shot from the Sky Deck:

We spent about a half an hour on top of the Sky Deck before we left and headed off to the Art Institute of Chicago.  Jules and I really like museums, they are a great place to be out while dressed as a woman.  Besides, one of Jules' favorite painting is housed there:

Here is a very thrilling shot of me perusing some art:

I was pondering the above figurines as they are Rodin's and they are so joyous, so totally not his style.  I was discussing this with my sister and she said that everything that he did that is somewhat happy was done by and apprentice.  Hmm.... I never knew that!

After our trip to the museum, we figured it was probably best to avoid much of the Chicago traffic and get ourselves to the airport for our flight.  It was an uneventful journey there and yes I took my second flight ever dressed as a woman.  The TSA did nothing extraordinary with me presenting as a woman, and very shortly after we we off on our way to Pennsylvania.

Unfortunately I did not get any photos of me on the plane to PA.  Oh well.  We arrived late into PA, and it took even longer to actually get our rental car and then drive to the hotel.  It was a super late night, and I am sure that I looked lovely at around 3am again!  Ugh!!

That night was to be my last dressed as a woman for most of the rest of the trip.  For those of you who have been reading my blog for a bit may know that my dad died back in January.  Well we finally got him buried where he requested, back in his home town of Coatsville, PA.  It was a lovely, and short service, exactly what he wanted!  So it was nice to get that done.

The best part of the trip was getting to visit with my sister.  We got to go back to the Amish country with her children and have them experience what she and I did when our parents took us out to PA.  Afterwards we drove up to my sister's place in upstate New York.  While my sister did, very nicely, ask if she would ever be able to meet Nadine, the occasion never did arise.  We did however get to visit Niagara Falls:

Our last flight, back to Vegas, was boring and done while presenting as a male.  But I got to spend some time in Vegas while dressed as a woman, which was nice.  My last trip photo of me as a woman was the following:

It was taken while driving back to California and having gotten back into the car after being blown all over the place by the powerful desert winds.  Overall I had a great time on my trip!  I highly recommend taking the risk and going for a flight while dressed as a woman.  It was very much worth the effort!

Love you!

Thanks for reading!

Love yourself!

Fly somewhere!

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

So Its a Funny Story . . . Dress

That title got your interest, huh? I'll get to that in a moment.

Nadine and I were going to the movies the day I decided to wear this dress. I love the color combinations of this dress (purple and blue greens )and how much it shows off my cleavage. (Yes, I am very proud of my boobs!) I think the empire waist is flattering. But the pleats below the empire waist are not my favorite. The top of the dress has thicker shoulder straps, and I think that is flattering on my slightly wider shoulders. Also, this dress is sooooo comfortable yet cute. I feel a little dressed up, and at the same time, comfy in my clothes. Granted, a few years ago, I did not feel as comfortable showing so much boob, but I have come to really appreciate my breasts and am wanting to show them off more.

Okay,  the story behind the dress. Nadine and I often go shopping together, so as per usual, we were in Target together looking for clothes. We both saw this dress, and again, as per usual, Nadine made up  her mind to pick it up before I did. I chastised myself for not being quicker on the draw. Nadine tried it on and decided she wanted it. I was, again, bummed I did not act more quickly. Nadine wore the dress a few times and then decided she didn't think the dress was flattering. Luckily for me, she was so generous and gave it to me. :) Woohoo!!

So thanks to Nadine, I get to have this dress for my own. One of the many benefits of being a woman married to a transgender man. :) Thank you, honey!!

One that note, I also got these earrings from Nadine. She has a nickel allergy and sometimes, the earrings she buys don't work out. The earrings are a bunch of spiky banana shaped pieces of metal and, I really like the look of them. They are kind of punk rocky. :)

Getting your spouses' hand me downs is just one of the wonderful benefits I get from having a husband who likes to present as a woman sometimes. I have been so blessed to be with someone who pushed themselves to be the best themselves they can be, which sometimes means getting rid of things that don't work for them, and then I get. :) :)

Love your life. 

Be the best you possible!


Sunday, September 13, 2015

Another Totally Normal Day

My previous post on my trip back east had me leaving Kenosha Wisconsin and heading up towards the middle of the state.  On my trip up there I was meeting some old family friends as well as visiting my mother's grave, who died twenty years ago.  I chose to present as male on this day.

It was the next morning, waking up in Wausau WI, that I chose to present as female and find out for myself just how frightening the folk were going to be.  Unfortunately I did not happen to get any pictures of myself that morning.  But I wasn't wearing anything all that fabulous.  It was my Zig-Zag sweater from WHBM, and my black pencil skirt from American Apparel.

The only thing on the agenda for Jules and I was to get to Chicago.  We hopped into the rental and headed off.  This time going down the central part of the state.  We stopped several times along the way, doing such exciting and thrilling things as getting gas, and breakfast, and snacks.  The one cool thing was stopping at Mullen's Cheese.  I really love cheese and thoroughly enjoyed spending some time browsing and selecting some very tasty cheeses.  It was the first time trying cheese curds, and Mullen's curds are yummy!

And guess what????  Can you imagine??  Every single person I encountered throughout my entire time in Wisconsin were just as nice as all the rest of the people I have ever encountered.  Hmmm.... Go figure!  We very much enjoyed our time there and were sad to have such little time to explore.  By that evening we were back to Chicago and checking into another hotel, which is where the picture above was taken.

I knew that everything would be fine.

But often one just needs to experience it and actually physically discover that everything really was just fine.

I often think that some allow their fears about what might happen prevent them from being able to discover what actually does happen.

Love you.

Love yourself.

Experience more reality and less thoughts.


Thursday, September 10, 2015

The Slippery Slope

It has often been said that what the difference is between a cross dresser and a transsexual, is about two years.  Ba-dum-ch!!!

What a fabulous joke huh?  Well not so much for the spouse of a cross dresser who is wondering where this newly discovered obsession is going to go.  This often brings up this idea that there is this slide from occasional pantie wearing that progresses to dressing up fully, and then going out in public, and eventually ending up with full blown transition.

From my estimation there are many, many problems with this theory.  Not the least of which is that often a spouse is not told of a cross dressers proclivities until later in the relationship.  So while to the spouse it appears as though this cross dressing obsession is a new thing, frequently it has been a  life long thing that has been hidden away or has been repressed.

That was my short little introduction on my thoughts on this idea of a slide to transition and I think it is important to state that before I say that I am coming to the realization that I am way more towards the transsexual side of the spectrum than I ever realized.  But I really hope that anyone out there in the blog-o-sphere that is reading this can understand that there was not ever a progression that led to me becoming transsexual.

This has really been a dawning realization that this is who I have always been.

I never really put together some things before.  Like the vast amount of envy that I have always had over the female body.  Like the fact that no matter how much I diet, or workout, or perform yoga, I have never liked my own body.  (Which is ridiculous btw - I am 5'9" and 152 lbs and can fit into size 4-6 skirts.)  How about that I was upset that I developed more male characteristics during puberty?  Or that I have never liked my friend between my legs.  This list can go on....

When I list it out, it appears much more obvious.  I would think that when reading this that maybe one might think, 'um gee isn't it obvious?'  Um... yeah.... maybe now it is obvious, but seriously along the way, I never really saw it.  It honestly is something that is just becoming a conscious thought.  But it has always been there.  It is not something that has developed.  The only thing that has changed at all, is simply my ability to put the pieces together and understand what picture the puzzle pieces created.

Does it mean that I will pursue transition?


Because I really understand that I can handle how I currently live.

And I understand that transition would never be enough.

It would never be enough, because I don't want to be a male that transitions to living as a female.

To be a female, a born with the body of a female, female, is what I want.

Big thoughts.

Love you.

Think big.

Photo Credits:
"Slope of log-log plot" by Brews ohare - Own work. 

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

Comfy and Cool Outfit for Summer

Top - Lily White - Similar
Tank - Calvin Klein - Similar
Shorts - ???? (Totally forget!) - Similar
Shoes - Born-O-Concept - Similar

I really like the simplicity of this outfit.  It is super comfy, and super cool.  That is so especially helpful in these wonderful central California heat!  Whoo! It can get hot out here.  And for those of you who say that it is a dry heat, not always.  It can often get quite humid around here.  Okay, not anywhere near what it was like in Pennsylvania this summer, but still, it is not always a dry heat.

So I really like this top as it has my favorite arm length, 3/4 sleeve.  It is also lace on the front, but regular cotton fabric panels on the side.  That makes it super stretchy and comfy.  Often lace is not a stretchy fabric and thus it can be a bit tight to wear.  But not this top.  It is super comfy.

I paired it with a white and blue tye-dyed type of tank.  I like the look as you can clearly see the blue spots showing through the lace.  It gives it a bit of extra punch!

The other thing that I like about this outfit is that I paired it all with my dark pearl necklace.  I totally have a thing for pearls.  I love them!  I really like this dark pearl necklace, but I do not often wear it as it is more a choker style.  Those types of necklaces can make a larger looking neck even larger appearing.  Which is kind of a bummer.  But with the neckline of this top coming up so high, it makes it so that I can wear choker style necklaces and they do not make my neck look huge!  Pretty cool huh?  Yeah I think so.

Okay, love you!

Love yourself!

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Travelling While Transgender

When I last wrote about my trip back east, Jules and I had gotten off the plane in Chicago, got our rental car, and were off heading for Kenosha Wisconsin with an ominous warning.  The car rental guy made sure to warn us that the folks in upstate WI were not quite as understanding as they were in Chicago.  It gave me a small pause of doubt, but I reminded myself that I am secure in what I do and who I am.  So I took a deep breath and kept driving.

Besides, Kenosha is not anywhere near upstate WI, it is much more like a beach town, as I found out a few short hours later.  I was a little hesitant as we pulled up to the hotel and was not quite sure what to think about the folks.  Some people's opinions of life have often left me confused and unsure if what I see is accurate or not.  Many folks have told me that I appear to have such an easy time going out in public dressed as a woman because I live in California.  Thus the implication is that if I were to venture outside of California, or at least the west coast of the United States, then for sure I will encounter problems.

What I was wearing when I arrived in Kenosha.
So it was with more than a bit of hesitation that I got out of the car and walked into the hotel to register Jules and I.  She and I walked into the hotel like everything was totally normal.  I let the clerk know that we were checking in and I handed her my male ID and credit card.  She, surprise surprise, acted like everyone else has ever acted.  She looked at my ID and my credit card, thanked me and ran my card through the machine.  Wow!  How crazy and scary!  Holy Crap batman, she treated me like I was a totally normal person!  And where was I, that's right Wisconsin of all places!

Jules and I got checked in, got our items, and loaded everything into our room.  At that point we had been awake for about 36 hours or so at least, but we were starving and needed to get some dinner.  Being as it was super cold outside with the wind whipping in off of Lake Michigan, I decided that I needed to change my clothes to something a bit warmer.  That was when I discovered that I forgot to pack any of my female jeans!  Ahh!!  What ever will I do??

Well I ended up wearing this:

Thus it is that I ended up walking out of my hotel room, in Kenosha WI, with my male jeans on and the rest female attire.  I was super nervous as Jules and I decided that the place that sounded the best to eat at was a bar, and we generally steer clear of bars.  Gender variance and guys with alcohol have been said to not play well together!

But the place that we chose was awesome!  Everyone there treated me quite well.  No one pitchforked me because I was a guy dressing as a woman who was wearing male jeans!  Crazy, I know, right!  By the way, the place we ate, pictured above, is a great bar/restaurant.  They had lots of good things to drink, though Jules and I did enjoy the massive selection of beer as we are tequila drinkers.  But we got a bit of that, and some awesome burgers!  If you ever find yourselves in Kenosha Wisconsin, we can both highly recommend this place.

After we ate our yummy dinner, I had to go visit Target as I was feeling super self conscious in my male jeans and needed a female replacement pair!  Thus off to Target.  We also stopped and got a bit more alcohol, and some sodas.  So out and about in Kenosha Wisconsin and absolutely nothing happened, except for us having a fabulous time!

Up next?  Travelling to central Wisconsin, where apparently the folks can be a bit different.  Though, it would not quite be the same as I would be driving there presenting as a male.  But I would be dressing while we were there, so I had that to look forward to!  Maybe!  Who knows what those Wisconsin folks were going to be like up there in the middle of the state!


Love you!

Love yourself!

Love Wisconsin!

Well, at least Kenosha!