Monday, March 30, 2015
This past weekend Jules and I got our newest family member, our new dog! Isn't he just the cutest! He is SO tiny! And he is the sweetest little guy!
We are currently leaning towards calling him Indy, after Indiana Jones. He is quite adventurous and a bit independent so we think it is going to be a fitting name.
Several people asked us how we were going to integrate him with our current dog, Buddy. I currently have a dog kennel for Buddy and so I built another kennel next to that one. We took Indy out for potty time the morning after getting him home and of course our Buddy was right outside the fence. The two of them greeted each other and had some sniff time. Everything seemed fine, so we let Buddy into Indy's kennel. Here is the result:
Aren't they the cutest things ever!
So Jules and I are a bit sleepy, and annoyed we have to be at work at not able to stay home for puppy time!
I want more puppy time!
Thursday, March 26, 2015
Many of you are aware that I have been going to work for many years now with my nails painted all of the time. No, I don't just go for clear, or muted tones, I go for whatever colors I feel like, just as anyone else would. So it is something that is quite obviously out there for anyone to see, and it of course has come up in discussions with my intern.
I do not remember the exact sequence of our discussions. I think first, I just explained to her that it is something that I enjoy doing, and that yes it does make me a bit different, but that I see that as a good thing. Then we spoke again maybe a month or two after that first time and I explained to her that I consider myself to be transgender. I explained that I do many gender non-conforming things, like paint my finger nails and wear women's jewelry and that I do a few other things while not at work. She was totally cool with it and I was happy.
But there was this nagging feeling within me. I did not like how I was uncomfortable with telling her "I do other things while not at work." What exactly does that mean?! Well, we here at my blog know what that means, but what impression did I leave her with?
I left it at that and pondered for many months. Then while discussing the events around this post, I again mentioned to her that I consider myself to be transgender (which is odd in itself as for some reason I could not remember at the moment if I had told her that before,) and I again mentioned the line, I do other things while not at work.
And I left that discussion again feeling totally weird, about myself! My intern, she was awesome, again! She made me feel totally accepted and as normal as anyone else. Which was great. So then why did I feel so bizarre?! It was that damn line, "I do other things while not at work." Again what the hell was that supposed to mean? Further, I had come to the conclusion that as I was unwilling to say it was surely a sign of how embarrassed I am about who I am and what I do!
Wow, after all these years, and all this time, I still have trouble accepting who I am!
So then, yet again, I resolved to challenge myself and push my own inner limits and boundaries.
I went to work the next day. Fired up my internet connection and brought up my blog on my iPad. I then pushed myself to go find my intern. She was alone when I found her and I explained myself. I told her how I felt so awkward and weird by telling her that I am transgender but that I was weird and vague by saying, "I do other things while not at work."
She gave me a kind but quizzical look. That was my cue. I took a deep breath, and opened up my iPad and showed her a picture form my blog. I don't remember exactly which one, but it was probably something like this:
I forget her exact response as I was in a total fog, completely dissociated from my body, pondering, "what in the hell am I doing?!"
But her response was something along the lines of "You are beautiful!" She is so kind!
She then attempted to scroll up and down the page but the iPad was not cooperating. I fixed it so that she could scroll around my blog while explaining that I attempt to write a fashion blog. She looked around a bit and told me how great it was, as I was stuttering and stammering about how nervous so many of us TG folks are with letting people know about ourselves. How so many of us are terrified to let people in on our secret because we just KNOW for SURE that people will ostracize us at the least and more than likely run us down with pitchforks and torches!
But instead of any of that, my intern smiled and complemented me repeatedly! She was so nice and so kind and so accepting and made me feel so normal! It was totally awesome!! Can I tell you how great it was and how wonderful it made me feel? She made me feel like I am a totally normal person!
But wait, there is more. The next day my intern found me in the morning and told me that she was completely exhausted because she stayed up for most of the night reading my entire blog, from start to finish! Holy crap! Apparently she loved it and has decided to become a regular follower.
So hello to you, and this post is for you! You are so great, and awesome, and inspiring! Thank you for everything you have taught me this year. I know I am supposed to be the mentor and you are supposed to be the intern, but you really have taught me many, many things this year and I will be eternally grateful. For everything you have shown me at work, but also everything you have shown me about humanity! Thanks!
Well folks, that is about it. I don't know how many people I have come out to anymore. I have lost count. Each one is unique and special, and important to me. And I have yet to have any negative experiences.
So, do I feel lucky? Well yes and no. I feel grateful for the wonderful people in my life and I appreciate and respect them, but, I don't really feel lucky. That kind of implies that the responses I have received have been completely random. Like tossing a coin and getting heads a hundred times in a row. That is luck.
Me receiving nothing but positive support, is that luck? I don't think so. I think it has something to do with my choices.
I am not trying to be insulting to anyone out there who has not had positive outcomes from coming out to others. I am quite sorry that has happened to you. And honestly I do not know why there is a difference between me and you. But I do think there is something else going on here besides just blind, dumb, luck.
Luck is for roulette. But is poker all luck? For the best players, poker has nothing to do with luck and everything to do with skill.
I have to think there is some skill involved in here.
Maybe it is just me being pompous.
Maybe I should just be more humble.
Maybe I should believe more in luck.
Maybe, but I doubt I will.
Love humanity for we are great!
Saturday, March 21, 2015
Top - DNA Couture
Jeans - Guess
Shoes - Saucony
I chose this outfit for a purpose, shopping! Specifically, clothes shopping! A new outlet mall opened up somewhat nearby Jules and I and we have been wanting to check it out for a little bit, so we chose a day and went for it. I never really like to dress up for clothes shopping, as there tends to be quite a bit of walking, standing, disrobing, and redressing. With complicated clothes on it can get more than a bit tedious. Thus I have on today's super casual outfit.
It is funny as in these pictures I do not think that I look anywhere near as feminine as I can and I knew that when I put this outfit on. The top is not very feminine and the jeans are probably my least feminine. And putting them together does not help either item! So I tried on a few different tops with the jeans, looking for something that was a bit more flattering. But nothing worked especially well, and I stuck with the original outfit.
Often on crossdressers.com other members of that site will complain about seeing women dressing in casual clothes, and that it is a waste. So I suppose if they saw my outfit, they would probably feel very similar. But that is SO rude! Like what, just because you can, then you should or rather you NEED to dress a particular way.
It made me think about the fact that I do not own a suit. Not a female suit, but a male suit. You know, a nice wool male suit. I wonder if there are MtF cross dressers who look at men who are dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, or khaki cargo shorts with flip flops and a t-shit and they think, wow what a waste! That man over there has the perfect body to wear a super nice suit and look how he is wasting it! He could be all done up in his suit and tie and he would look great! But no, there he is shlubbing around in these lame clothes!
How funny would that be? Super funny!
Maybe I should go buy suit?
Maybe I should.
Tuesday, March 17, 2015
Top - White House Black Market
Skirt - 36 Point 5
Shoes - Taryn
Belt - Mossimo
Overall I think my outfit looks pretty good. I especially like the shoes! Do you know how long I have been looking for a nice pair of shoes in a nude color? For a LONG time! I ended up spending about $100 on these shoes as I had finally found a pair of mostly comfy nude shoes. And they are wedges as well, which means that they are fairly usable as shoes I can actually spend the day in.
And on this day I did spend quite a bit of time in them. Alas as with most cute shoes, after several hours, they did make my feet begin to hurt a bit. But with going to a department store, the movies, and then to Costco, and walking all around that giant store, I would honestly be surprised if my feet didn't hurt me at least a little!
Okay, so, while I love the fit of this top, the color of this top, the fabric of this top, I just don't know if horizontal stripes on my torso is the best thing for me! After reviewing this pictures for this post, I kind of get the feeling that the stripes make my torso look bigger. Maybe it is pairing this top with this skirt. The skirt is pretty straight and skinny, and I rarely use my hip pads anymore. So my bottom half looks pretty small, but my top half looks a bit larger. I don't know, maybe it is just my perception!
Oh and while I was snapping shots, my dog thought he would get in on the fun. Isn't he a cutie? I don't think I told you all yet, but I am getting a new puppy soon! It is less than two weeks away at this point. I am so excited, and so nervous! Good golly, a new puppy? How am I going to do that?? Ahhh....... I am nervous, and excited, and afraid, and happy and.....??????? Oh I hope I can give my new little guy everything that he needs!
Okay. Love you all! Thank you so much for reading.
What do you think of the stripes? Good, not good? Opinions?
Oh and I am still looking for other folks who are interested in posting their own outfit posts. What I would be interested in you doing would be to: take at least 1 full photo of your outfit. Tell us who made what. And what you like or don't like about it. Come on people, I am not the only little fashionista out there. I know you folks love your clothes and outfits, and that many of you look great! Don't be shy!
Love you again!
Tuesday, March 10, 2015
Top - White House Black Market
Leggings - Guess
Boots - Nine West
Necklace - Target
In this outfit I have two of my newest shopping finds. The top is from White House Black Market and can I just take a moment and tell you, I think that store was made for me! I am such a sucker for black and white. It totally draws my eye! I love it. I love it so much that on occasion I ponder reducing my wardrobe to nothing but black and white. But then I think of certain colored clothing items I have, like my lovely purple tank, from White House Black Market, and I absolutely love that top and there is no way I could ever get rid of it. So my dreams of a total black and white wardrobe fade away!
Anways... I love this top. Of course it is black and white, but I also like the offset stripes. I think it really adds some movement and interest to the top. I also really like the length. It falls just below my crotch and thus it is perfect for strategically hiding things. I also really like the arm length; just past the elbow. Which for me, is the most flattering place for arms to end! Woo-Hoo!
The other thing I am wearing in this outfit are my new leggings from Guess. I like the leggings, due to the stripe down the side, but I don't really like how it ends up getting bunched up. It would look so much better if it was just a single straight, flat line running down the side of my legs. Oh well! I suppose to get it to do that, they would need to be a smaller size, be stretchy, and have stirrups. Then it might lay flat!
Okay, that is about it for today wonderful people!
Thanks for reading!
BTW - I have been tossing around the idea of having some blogging contributors. If you have a love of fashion, are willing to take full body photos to be published online, and are interested in contributing to Unordinary Style, then let me know and maybe I could figure it out!
Sunday, March 8, 2015
Yesterday I received the following email:
I am sure you are busy working a sweat in your workshop. IF you get a chance this weekend, can you blog about advice on getting things done in life? Especially getting things done despite every muscle in your body and every thought telling you to stay in bed otherwise.
Your new blog fan
Well first let me say, thank you so much for reading my blog! Oh and thank you so much for being you! I don't know if you know just how great of a person you are. (For all of you who are wondering the author of this email is my amazingly awesome intern that I mentioned in this post. Oh and yes I will HAVE to write at some point about how exactly she has become a reader of my blog!)
Okay, so to your question:
This is honestly a very tough question that I have come to understand really has no easy answers and I highly doubt that I will be able to give even a good answer within one blog post. Thus I have been pondering making this topic be one of some regularity here. Hmm.....?????? Maybe????????
So maybe today's post should be about stress. What is it that gets me up and out of bed and kicks me in my booty to get things done? Stress.
Take this morning for example. I have a ginormous list of things to get done. Well actually I have three lists of things. One is for work, the second is for the house, and the third is for myself. So that I don't drive myself bonkers attempting to remember all of this stuff, and in the process inevitably forgetting most of it and then feeling worse, whenever I am feeling super overwhelmed I write these lists out. If I already have the lists written, which I do most of the time, then I will review the lists and edit them if necessary. Point being, I try to be aware as possible of everything I am expecting myself to accomplish.
So then back to this morning, I woke up and could tell from the amount of light in my room what time it was. And then I felt stressed because with the time change I knew that I was already behind. Part of me really wanted to just stay in bed and not think about it all, but I knew what that would do, just allow more time to pass and to make me feel more stressed out because then I would feel even further behind. So.... I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and got out of bed.
I started off my day the way I do almost every day, I went and walked my dog. This gives me a great start to the day. Getting out, exercising, observing the world around me, and watching my dog run in the fields next to the road helps to center me to what is important in life. And I also had some time to contemplate what on my list is stressing me out the most.
I know that each and every day I cannot possibly accomplish everything that is on my lists, I need to make sure that I prioritize and accomplish the things that are causing me the most stress. For me, I understand that things that cause the most stress are the things that I really care about getting done. If I can prioritize my day and get the most stressful things done, then tonight I will be able to sit on the couch, veg-out for a bit and actually feel relaxed.
For me, I know that the most relaxing thing is trying to make my lists as small as possible. And those lists will only get smaller by me getting up and getting shit done.
Okay, so what really motivates me and gets me out of bed? Stress. And the truly relaxing feeling of getting shit done.
Oh and I suppose one last thought would be, deal with your stress by getting things done, but also be aware of balance. I tend to work hard for a bit, say an hour or so and then take a small break and do something fun and mindless, like pinning nice outfits on Pintrest. Today I am working my little butt off around the house and on work stuff, but yesterday I was not hard at work in my shop, it was a fun day of dressing up, getting out of the house, going to Bakersfield, getting my nails done, and enjoying the world.
Face your stress, get shit done, but make sure to allow yourself to have fun and do some things that make your happy.
That's it for today. I hope I have been able to help in some small way.
It's never easy, but the journey is worth the effort.
We are always worth our own effort,
Love you all!
Tuesday, March 3, 2015
Top - Max Studio
Jeans - Guess
Shoes - Saucony
Purse - Coach
This past weekend I decided that I HAD to have some retail therapy. I don't know if you have noticed it or not but I have been attempting to curtail my clothes buying obsession. I just kind of figured that maybe I should stop purchasing for a bit and try and work with what I have. It has been rather enjoyable actually. I have been pleased with the innovative outfits and unusual combinations I have been able to piece together.
But as of late things have mentally gotten to a boil over point and I thought I was just going to have a stress geyser spout from the top of my head. I have informed you of the stress associated with my father recently passing away, which I am still trying to sort out and it is turning into a cluster-fuck! Of course his ex-wife has an attorney "friend" who is representing her so I of course have had to hire someone to represent me and my father's estate; awesome! I have also informed you about the lovely difficulties with a coworker, which is still in process! Jules' depression has had recent flare ups, which is thrilling! And of course all of the rest of the stuff in my world is as chaotic and never ending as it usually is. But ah, such is this sweet thing called life!
Anywho, my point is I HAD to have some retail therapy. And where do you think was the first place I went to after the 3.5 hour drive to favorite outlet mall? That is right, Coach baby!
After getting my new awesome purse, I had about an hour or so until the mall closed and thus visited the closest store me Guess. And that is when I got a very pleasant surprise. A sales associate, Paula, came up to me and said hi and told me that she was very happy to see me shopping there again. This was the same woman who I encountered during this post. She totally remembered me and was super friendly and helpful! It was such a nice pick me up and reminded me of how great the public can be.
The rest of my trip was super nice. I encountered all sorts of nice people and very pleasant events that I will have to relay to you all at some point! But for today, the focus is on the purse!!
Do you have a nice purse?
You really should have a nice purse!
Go buy yourself a quality purse.
Love quality purses!