Monday, September 29, 2014

Manly Enough?

These past few weeks I have been joking around with Jules, my wife.  On the discussion board,, a topic that often comes up is how manly a cross dresser is and whether or not we are being respectful of the needs of our spouses or significant others.  Apparently, being as the people that are with us are with us primarily because we are men, we need to make sure that we show them that we are still men.

Hmm.... Interesting stuff that makes my mind go in many different directions.  First off, that is a pretty big assumption huh?  That our other's need us to somehow be manly enough.  Like there is some sort of definition of what makes someone a man.  Again I was joking with Jules, saying that maybe I need to wear more dirty blue jeans, spurs, a cowboy hat, and chaps.  She was with me about being manly, until I got to the chaps part, then she said I was describing a gay man, and not a manly man!  Funny!!!!

Anywho, I thought of this frequently while I have been working in my yard.  We have lived in our house for about ten years and the entire time we have had very low water pressure.  I have invested lots of time, effort, energy and money into solving the problems we have been having.  Nothing seemed to work and it just appeared to get worse.  So I called in an expert and he charged me about $175 to tell me what needed to be done.  And the scope of the project would be epic!  Basically I would need to replace the main water line going into the house and then replace all of the outdoor irrigation lines as well. At the time that he informed me of this, I felt that while it was true that it needed to get done, what he suggested was pure fantasy.

But the way my brain works, one thing led to another, and I have found myself immersed in this ginormous project.  I have rented a trencher, trenched about 1000 feet of trench, laid and cemented pipe, learned how to weld copper water lines, destroyed granite boulders in my way, chainsawed giant dead oak tree roots, worked my hands tell they were bloody, gotten up and started working in the dark of the early morning, and worked until dinner and then worked a bit more.

More often than not, I come in for dinner, covered in mud, blood, and sweat.  My clothes have been ripped and destroyed, my yard is a massive construction zone, and even with every single muscle in my body screaming out in agony, I still get my ass up off the couch and get out there and keep working.

And while in my exhausted state, I occasionally take a break, hang out with Jules, and tell her that it is a gosh darn shame that I am a cross dresser and just not manly enough to please her! We both laugh and then I go back to work.  It is especially funny as I am wearing my old fem jeans that have been retired to yard work status!

But really, is this what being a man is?  Like if I didn't do all this, then somehow I wouldn't be a man?  Or that a woman would somehow be unable to do what I have done?  What ridiculous and antiquated notions we have about what a man and a woman is.  Maybe those images are what most of society think a man or woman should be?

At the end of the day, I am happy being be.  I am happy that I can work my ass off, and make my muscles ache to the point that I just don't think I can scoop a single more shovel full of dirt, that I can swing a ten pound sledge above my head and destroy the granite boulders in my way.  But that I can also shave my body, put on that dress, wig and makeup, and go have fun with a spouse that enjoys being with her husband as well as her wife.

I am who I am.  I exhibit both manly and feminine characteristics and I love it!  I love me and what I am able to accomplish.  Either way I go, you will rarely find me sitting on my laurels and watching as life passes me by.

Love you.

Love yourself.

Get off the couch!

Photo courtesy of -


  1. Oh yes, shoveling dirt, sledge hammers, and trench digging and are VERY manly!

    I do plenty of yard work myself (it's great in the summer for getting tan), and the only thing that I don't like is when my arms and legs get scratched or bruised up. I don't want to look like a battered prostitute in my miniskirts!

    But yes, we are who we are and I'm with you on this too - please love yourself, and let yourself be who you are and not some stereotype or convention.

    1. OMG, I so hate when my arms and legs get thrashed from all of the yard work. I was splitting oak rounds once and my arms looked horrible when I was done. I started singing "I feel pretty, oh so pretty" in a very sarcastic tone while holding out my arms!

  2. You are so right Nadine!
    I just finished splitting and stacking a bush cord of wood for the stove, and didn't give one thought to whether it was a man or a woman's job. It was my job, and I could and did do it.
    We should all feel sorry for people who are locked in someone else's stereotype.

  3. I see my T ness as being the best of both worlds. I am a guy who is a happy husband and father. I also love my dressing. I am all of both.

    1. I too see my T ness as the best of both worlds. How enjoyable that we get to experience so much of this world!

  4. I do much the same. Often working on cars coming in with greasy bloodied hands and arms. But sorry Nadine. The difference between me and the manly men is that my dirty shirt has a Hounds tooth design and when I get the dirt ground right into my underwear.... well it is ground into pink underwear.

    1. Hi Maggie. I love hounds tooth! Yeah my girly underwear does not quite fit the manly man image so much either! Oh well!