Wednesday, August 27, 2014
Coming Out Summer - Tale #2 - Texting Out
The first tale I told of coming out this summer was to my friends M & T. That was a fantastic experience. This tale is maybe not as exciting but it was just as special to me.
While discussing my gender with M & T they asked if I had told J yet. J is a friend of T and has over the years become a friend of mine as well. He is a great guy. But I still had more than a bit trepidation in discussing my gender with him. It had occurred to me in the past, but I did not really see any reason to open up to him. He never asked, and I never felt any need to offer.
But, then again, I found out from M & T, that actually J was interested. It turns out that the three of them had had some discussions regarding my gender presentations. M & T told me that I had to let him know what was going on.
So.... I decided to tell him, but just wasn't sure how to go about it as I don't see him that often and had no plans to see him in the future. Also it is highly unlike us to talk on the phone. So.... I decided to text him.
What follows is the transcript of that conversation:
Hey J. Hope you are well. I know this text is totally out of the blue but Jules and I were at M & T's yesterday and your name came up.
Hey man! How are you doing? How is Jules' rehab going?
I was talking to them and explaining my gender issues and they said you had pondered about it with them. So I thought I would include you in the conversation a bit.
Sounds like an interesting talk you guys had. How did this come up?
Basically what I have concluded is that I am transgendered first off. secondly I am gender non-conforming. And lastly I occasionally fully cross dress. No, I am not interested in becoming a woman. I think of myself as existing somewhere in the middle. Yeah out of the blue, but I just wanted to be out there and honest. Cause you know whatever.
Well I appreciate your honesty. I say very cool - I think people should "own" who they are and be happy in their own skin. I've never known a gender non-conformist, so I have to say it's pretty fascinating. I assume this is no secret to Jules. I knew your relationship wasn't exactly traditional. But I have to say you guys are one of the happiest couples I know. T on the other hand is not always the most open minded person. Did you blow his mind?
Well thanks. It has taken me oh about thirty years to begin to get a grip on any of this. So for those not personally involved it is a bit of an unknown area. I'd be happy to answer any questions if you have them. Jules has known about everything as I discovered it. T was totally cool. Very accepting. We really should hangout and talk sometime. I just didn't want to wait till whenever that might be.
Good to know. T is mellowing with age. Must be M's influence. We should definitely hang out one of these days. Haven't seen M & T this summer either.
Jules is doing better. She is getting stronger all the time. Still recovering but doing better than expected. We have had a good summer and hope you have also.
You definitely surprised me! Of course I noticed you paint your nails occasionally, but I also knew you you are interested in women, But you are one of the coolest people I know, and what people do on their own time is none of my beeswax. So you go! Had a busy summer here. mostly mountain stuff. Spending the last part of summer with the wife on Maui! Glad to hear Jules is on the mend.
Cool. We are jealous about Maui. Oh and with the gender stuff, it is totally not a sexual thing and yes I am 100% heterosexual. ALL the time. It really is mostly just doing things and wearing clothes normally reserved for women.
I figured as much. Be careful up there around those hicks; they aren't known for being open minded. I think it is very cool that you aren't a cookie cutter, standard issue person. See we can talk about meaningful stuff and not just our stock portfolios and our jobs!
Well thanks man! And overall over the years people have amazed me with their kindness. I have hope in humanity again.
I'm trying to have some hope as well. I have plenty of time to be a curmudgeon later in life.
Take care and enjoy the rest of your summer.
Good talking with you my friend. Let's hangout soon.
Pretty cool. huh? Good golly people sure do impress the heck out of me. I think one thing about people and then they prove me totally wrong. All I need to do is to give them a chance to be awesome and the people I know step right up and prove themselves to be better than I ever imagined!
Love you all!!
Please show yourself some love.
You deserve to be loved.
Most importantly by yourself.
If you love yourself, others will follow.