Monday, April 14, 2014

What Do You Bring Into Your Life?

Growing up, I learned that people can hurt me and I was hurt often.  So it is no wonder that as a younger adult I looked at most of humanity with quite a bit of suspicion.  I never felt as though other humans could be trusted to do the "right" thing and certainly I could not trust other humans to actually go out of their way to be nice to meaningless strangers.

And thus I find it quite odd that one day, after finally getting dressed from head to toe as a girl that the idea popped into my to get out of the house. It was really strange.  The idea of going out in public had never occurred to me and it is not as though I had some secret love for most of humanity.  As I stated in fact I really did not like others very much.

But for some reason, once I got fully assembled in all of my feminine gear I felt that I had to get into the world as so I shoved myself out of the privacy of my safe house and out into the harsh cold world.  It took quite a bit of time for me to relax and begin to enjoy myself but eventually I did.  Apparently I was quite the odd one as in going out of the house, I did seek the security of a "safe" place.  I have never been to a LGBTQ friendly location.  I have always just gone to wherever I wanted to go.  At first it was mostly museums, and restaurants, and shopping, but now it is anywhere and everywhere.

And the absolutely weirdest thing has happened along the way... I have had my eyes open to the beauty that is humanity.  I no longer see humanity as this mass of faceless, hurtful, uncaring, meanies!  Why?

I see the little things that people do, that they don't need to, but that so many of them choose to.  On some of my recent travels around California (from southern to northern from the coast to the valley) here are some of my experiences:

- the lady at the sock store who complemented my cute new Coach purse and began a conversation about how she can't ever seem to make into that store
- the guy at the hamburger restaurant who learned over my shoulder and complemented me on my cute pink sneakers
- the lady at the gas station who complemented my earrings
- the conversation with the guy at McDonalds about the lid he was offering me for my cup
- the McDonalds cashier who complemented the color of my nail polish
- the lady at Black House - White Market who when she saw my driver's license said "Wow, you do a great job at this!"
- the lady who let go of the door without holding it opened for me and stopped and apologized when I came out of the door
- the Clinique sales ladies who almost always offer me some free items

These are just a few of the examples from my various travels.  Along the way as well, I have never been harassed, pestered, annoyed, plagued, etc.

My point is that while I thought I would experience the worst in humanity, I have actually seen the best in humanity.  So much so, that I have realized I have always misjudged humanity.  I always thought that people were basically evil, or at least bad, but really people are basically good.

But I would have never seen that people are good, if I waited for them to show me.  By not trusting people, that is what I was putting out there, and that is what people proved to me.  But by putting myself out there and being true to myself, humanity has stepped up and proved to me that people are good, kind, and nice, and will often go out of their way to be a good person.

Okay, I am certainly not an idiot and I don't think that there are no bad people out there, but enough people have shown me that people are good, that I am willing to generalize that people are actually good.  Some people aren't but as a whole, humanity is a great bunch of people.

Get out there folks.

Love yourself.

Trust yourself.

Have hope in humanity, they may just surprise you.


  1. Nadine, great post! Loving and trusting yourself is the beginning as you suggest.
    This is probably the longest comment I'll ever leave anywhere, but here goes:

    A traveler came upon an old farmer hoeing in his field beside the road. Eager to rest his feet, the wanderer hailed the countryman, who seemed happy enough to straighten his back and talk for a moment.
    "What sort of people live in the next town?" asked the stranger.

    "What were the people like where you've come from?" replied the farmer, answering the question with another question.

    "They were a bad lot. Troublemakers all, and lazy too. The most selfish people in the world, and not a one of them to be trusted. I'm happy to be leaving the scoundrels."

    "Is that so?" replied the old farmer. "Well, I'm afraid that you'll find the same sort in the next town.

    Disappointed, the traveler trudged on his way, and the farmer returned to his work.

    Some time later another stranger, coming from the same direction, hailed the farmer, and they stopped to talk. "What sort of people live in the next town?" he asked.

    "What were the people like where you've come from?" replied the farmer once again.

    "They were the best people in the world. Hard working, honest, and friendly. I'm sorry to be leaving them."

    "Fear not," said the farmer. "You'll find the same sort in the next town."

    1. Brilliant comment Halle. Thanks for contributing. That is very much what I was trying to say and I just don't know how well I did so. But apparently at least you got the point I was trying to make.

      Thanks so much! :)

  2. A brilliant post, Nadine! It really emphasizes the fact that we all have boundaries we push past to grow as individuals. I’m still at an early stage, going out to “friendly” places, but the times I do go out I say to myself “why not more?” Why not go out to the store by myself, or to the local store. I have some plans to start volunteering around the local community this year, which I know will help push myself further, and I know that there will be some pleasant surprises waiting for me. Thank you for always reminding us to love and trust ourselves.

    1. Thank you so much Katie, it means a lot.

      Good for you for gearing up to volunteer. I have yet to do that, but do keep thinking about it. It tends to be a bit tough where I live. I will need to branch out!

      And you are very welcome. Loving ourselves is a tough gig, but an important one. :)

  3. I still limit my outings to friendly places but even with that said I do not think that I would encounter problems doing otherwise. I think that our fears are largely in our own minds and that people can be accepting.

    1. Heya Pat!

      I was thinking about you the other day. I hope everything is going well for you and your wife. I think you are right, the vast majority of fears are in our own minds. I want to experiment and visit as many places as I can while dressed as a girl and see if I can actually find problems. Not that I want problems, but just to see, where do these types of problems arise? And will they actually happen? Well, maybe just a cross country drive could answer much of my concerns? I think I need to try it one day. :)

  4. Great post Nadine! I find that I get compliments all the time as girl and hardly ever as a guy. I run into so many genuinely nice people when dressed as Kristina, kinda makes me wonder why I go back to boy mode (until I've been in heels for 5 hours! ;)

    I've run into some negative/mean people, but overall I'd have to say I run into at least 10x more good, kind people when out.

    Keep up the good work!

    1. Thanks Kristina. So true about the heels. Also for me, day after day of shaving my face so closely kills the fun. :)