Thursday, April 25, 2013

Outfit for 4/25/13 - A Rare Occurrence and Some Hope

Dress - Younique Clothing
Nylons - ???
Boots - Nine West
Necklace - Purchased from some Winery in Paso Robles, CA

It is quite rare, to the point that I can't remember the last time, that I will have occasion to dress during my regular work week.  But last night Jules asked Nadine to dinner.  I was quite apprehensive to accept, considering the events of the past bit.  Nonetheless I obviously agreed.

The dress I have on, I bought for $1, at a garage sale. We were going to try and sell it on eBay.  I was all set to put up the ad when I looked at myself in the dress modeling it.  It was then that I decided that I could not possibly bear to part with such a cute little dress.

In the photo, I really like the dress, the boots, and the necklace.  I really like the necklace!  I purchased it many years ago and have rarely comfortably matched it to anything.  But I think the pop of red in the otherwise all black outfit looks really good.  The one thing I don't like about the outfit are the nylons.  I really need them to be much thicker so that they don't stretch so much on my legs to where they don't look as jet black as the rest of the outfit.

An update on the home front.  Jules and I have spoken quite a bit since Saturday night.  The issue at hand, simply put, is that of responsibility.  I tend to accept responsibility and she has tended to avoid responsibility.  Not so much in regards to house chores, but in terms of what I believe we all need to do, be responsible to ourselves.  Responsible for our own feelings, our owns hopes, our own dreams, our own desires.  Jules' heart was so crushed by her family that she lost her muchness.

I have worked hard to do it for her, and while it has helped, it has also hurt.  She has done what I suggested but this has come at the price of resentment towards me.  This has obviously created some pretty big problems for us.

At some point, I will fill you in with Jules'  plan of attack for herself.  Just not yet.

Stay tuned.

Listen to the real you.

Love yourself more and maybe others will love you back even more.


  1. Beautiful outfit Nadine. I was happy to read that you survived to trip out to your friend's house on your last post, and made some big steps going out and spending time with friends as Nadine. And great advice in the end here. Listening, trusting, and loving ourselves will in the end make for the right environment for us and those around us. Best wishes,

    1. Thank you for the complement on the outfit. I really like it.

      I agree about creating the right environment.

      Oh and I am thrilled that I was finally able to spend some good time with good friends as Nadine. It really meant and means a good deal to me.

      Good to hear from you! Thanks!

  2. Nadine
    Thank you for your thoughtful reply to my comment on your last post.

    I am glad that you and Jules have been speaking. That is generally a good thing. I am very pleased that Jules invited Nadine to dinner. I would like the details when that makes sense. I dream that my wife would invite Pat out to dinner.

    It seems that these issues with Jules are ongoing. Have they been becoming more acute lately? Is it possible that she is starting to reach her pre-menopausal changes?

    We are all the sum of our parts and our experiences. I have learned to survive by developing what appears to be a combination of inner and outer strength. As a former athlete and current athletic supporter I learned to never show fear...never let the opposition sense your fears. That does not mean that I am not impacted ~ only that it dissuades people from trying to take a piece of me.

    My wife is much more visably fragile. She, like Jules, you, me and many others had tough issues growing up. Her reaction to life is the opposite of Jules. She is deeply and emotionally engaged in all things. She is acutely aware of everything and she ruminates and evaluates everything and plans for all contingencies. The things she conjures up to worry about are mind boggling but to me I see it not so much as a problem but as a manifestation of how deeply she cares for others.


    1. Thanks Pat.

      I am not sure if these issues are becoming more acute lately or not. I have contemplated pre-menopause. I have also contemplated that as I have started taking better care of myself, I am less willing to take care of Jules the way in which I have in the past. A large part of me feels that her choices are finally catching up with her and instead of me being there to fix everything for her, I am allowing her to feel the results.

      I so appreciate your thoughts and opinions, thank you so much for sharing.

  3. I totally agree with you about that outfit, it looks stunning, however might I suggest lighter hose rather than heavier I think sheer nearly black tights would really set off such a cute dress.

    1. Thank you Paula.

      Hmm... I had not thought of sheer black tights. I will have to try that and see what it looks like. Yea! Another thing to try and experiment with. Thanks for the suggestion.