Today's post is from a great friend, B. Some of you may remember mention of him from some of my previous posts. I had sent a link to B of this post. This morning I was thrilled to receive the following comment submitted to my blog. This is such an amazing statement of friendship that I didn't want his comment to simply disappear into the archives of my blog and I asked him if I could feature it as its own post; obviously he said I could.
Hi all I am B of A and B. I have been reading Nadine's post for some time now and have been struggling to write something. I say struggling because this has all required me to look at myself at the same time and deal with my own personal demons that I live with every day. The courage that Nadine has shown through all this has led me to be willing to at least give myself the opportunity to accept my own feelings and share more with my wife about my secret. My wife has always known about my secret but never knew the extent or all the details of my experiences in the past, which after several years of marriage is slowly coming out in conversation all thanks to Nadine's courage.
I wish all of you reading this blog could get to know Jules and Nadine in person because they are two of the most genuinely nice and kind hearted people you will ever meet in your life, bar none. I should mention that I am not a touchy feely person in fact I am known as a hard ass with little regard for people's feelings; which is why this entire experience has taken me completely by surprise.
You may have read that Nadine shared the secret of his cross-dressing with us during a trip we all went on together. I have to say that his courage to share something so personal and scary with us was one of the most touching moments in my life. I truly can't put it into words that will justify the feelings that came over me at that moment. You see A and I had speculated for some time that Nadine had some kind of secret but it did not matter to us because we had already fallen in love with the both Nadine and Jules. Not in the romantic sense of the word "love" but in love with the people we had seen both inside and out. Carrying my own deep dark secret that I was absolutely not comfortable with and have not been my entire life, I knew it was incredibly hard for Nadine to say the words and share that secret with us. It was at that moment, right there standing in front of them my heart melted for Nadine and Jules. You might say that A and I imprinted on them both; we already knew they were two of the most beautiful people inside and out that we had ever met and that was just amplified 20 fold.
Now I have to admit I had a fairly good idea from some things I had witnessed from previous visits we had with Nadine and Jules what Nadine's secret was but I had no idea to what extent and it did not matter and or have an impact on my impression of him what so ever. Not because of my own secret but because he was a wonderful person and it really didn't matter what the secret was I already cared deeply for this person I had gotten to know. That being said I have to admit I was rather curious to know the extent of Nadine's secret but I was also scared for Nadine just the same because I knew it was difficult to harbor something so personal. I knew under garments were involved and that Nadine was not into males sexually at all, as that topic had been brought up in random conversation in the past. Once Nadine shared his secret with A and I Nadine had a glow about him when he spoke about it. It was easy to see he was uncomfortable yet comfortable at the same time. I don't think he felt comfortable at the time but I could see from the glow on his face that there was a freeing since coming over him. That glow which I don't think he realizes exist when he speaks about dressing up until he reads this post (probably shouldn't of shared that because it’s so wonderful to see) is what drove A and I to want to ask more questions and get to know the "real person" we had already grown to love.
It was so touching, so beautiful, so amazing to see someone blossom into the real person they truly are right in front of us there was no way we were just going to let that go. We have continued to ask questions because we care; we care so much about Jules and Nadine that we want to embrace them in all forms. Still to this day as we get together and talk about all this Nadine lights up when the topic comes up, it that is an amazing thing. The most wonderful thing about all this is that now when we all get together and the topic comes up it no longer feels like a topic it has just become a standard part of the conversation and it feels normal to us. If fact I think it would be strange not to have it be part of our everyday conversation because it is so much a part of Nadine's life and who Nadine is we know it and we love that fact. My beautiful wife A is into fashion and loves to shop and looks forward to the opportunity to go shopping with Nadine someday. Now that being said A and I have not met Nadine in dress but would welcome that without reservation any time.
Now for my own secret and fears which have been with me for as long as I can remember and still to this day confuse me, scare me, and make me shake when I think about it at times. Knowing Nadine's secret and seeing Nadine light up when he talks about it with us is what gave me the courage to for the first time share my secret with someone.
My secret is that I am sexually attracted to both men and women in the nude form--- equally. This is the first time I have every typed those words in fact I have only spoke those words to very few people in my life. I have been this way since my first memories of sexual feelings and thoughts. Even after knowing Nadine's secret I still was terrified to share my own secret especially knowing that Nadine had made it clear he was not into guys. I did not know if he would be accepting of my secret, and I was and continue to be incredibly insecure about my feelings even though I have no control over them no matter how hard I have tried. That all being said none of this would be coming out if it was not for Nadine's courage to share with A and I his secret and allowing us into he and Jules life enough to fall in love with two amazingly beautiful people.
Thank you both so very much for being the people you are, you have touched us deeply and no matter what happens for the rest of our lives we will never forget the moments we have shared together.
The photo used from: