Thursday, April 26, 2012

Where is the trans restroom?

I don't remember the first time that I was out dressed as a woman and had to use the restroom.  I really don't; which is interesting because it is a little uncomfortable for me and I would think that is something that I would remember, but I don't.  After years now of going out dressed as a woman, I'm a little more used to it, but it is still something of a concern for me as I often feel as though I am behind enemy lines.  I often feel as though I am  someplace that I do not belong and soon enough someone is going to spot me and call me out.  Honestly I often feel that way even when I am not in the women's restroom but it is especially acute when I am.  I feel uncomfortable enough about the situation that if there happens to be a line for the restroom I don't think I have ever waited in it.  I will hold it until I can find a more secluded place to go.  Now don't get me wrong, if I'm about to pee myself, I will use whatever restroom I can find.  I have even thought about just using the men's room if I really need to go and feel so uncomfortable about the ladies room, though I never have.

I do feel more comfortable now using the women's restroom than I ever have and honestly that is simply do to doing what I do, face my fears.  Trust me folks I was terrified before I ever set foot into a women's restroom, but I did it anyways.  I have certainly thought that while women have tolerated me while on the street, or shopping, or at the movie theater, or while eating dinner, women would never tolerate a man being in the women's room while they were going to the bathroom.  But honestly so far people have done exactly what they have always done with me, they have worked hard to avoid any potential conflict and nobody has ever said anything and I have been using the women's room now for about 5 years, at least.

Here is my advice about how to go about using the women's restroom.  Get in, do your business, and get out.  You don't need to doddle, to hang out, to look out of place.  It's fine to wait to in line, though I never have, it's fine to go to the bathroom, but please sit down like everyone else does in that room, wipe the seat if you dribble all over it, flush the toilet like a polite person should, arrange your clothes properly, don't forget your purse, which should have been hung on the door and not set on the floor, open the door, go wash your hands, check your hair and makeup, and then leave.

My main piece of advice for any of you is to act like a woman.  Mainly that means, do your thing without being concerned about others.  Most women do not look at people the same way that men will.  Women will look at other human beings quite a bit, but in general they will not let you see them looking at you.  To me, a born and raised male, this just feels odd.  It feels as though I am acting like a stuck up snob.  But at the same time it is kind of a freeing attitude which goes like this - "I am going to do what I need to do and I'm not going to worry about what you think about it."

Okay?  So that is my personal advice and history and thoughts about using the restroom.  Now while looking through the web for a graphic I spotted all sorts of things about trans people using restrooms like the following:

The Best Little Trans Bathroom Controversy In Texas


Here are my final thoughts on this topic for today:  We need to stand up for ourselves and not be afraid of what others will say or do to us because of who we are.  It's such a sad thing that having to go to the bathroom results in all of this discrimination.

Fear is a powerful thing.

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Warm Weather Again

White Top - Guess
Tank Top - Guess
Shorts - Guess
Shoes - Life Stride

We had a warm day about a week or two ago and we needed to go do some shopping.  I decided that it was time to try to wear shorts for the first time this year.  I was a little cold when we first went out, but within a few hours things had warmed up and I was fine.  The other thing is that generally I am quite warm when I go out dressed as a woman being as I have on what is essentially a polyester cap; my wig.

That was a little fact that I didn't really get when I went out to dinner with my wife dressed as a girl for the first time.  The only table available in the restaurant was one next to the fireplace.  By the time dinner ended I had sweat rolling down just about every part of me.  Luckily it didn't roll down my face at all.

Anyway, the day that I wore this outfit we had quite a bit of shopping to do.  We went to Macy's to get some Clinique items, then to Target, made a quick stop at TJMaxx, got some lunch, then went and got our nails done, and finished out shopping by going to Costco.  It was a decent day made even better by the new shoes I picked up at TJMaxx.  If you haven't gone to TJMaxx yet, I highly recommend it.  They quite often have great shoes at a great discount.  The shoes I got are some blue fabric wedges.  They are made by Aerosoles.  I think they are super cute and will have to show them to you soon.

I hope you are all doing well.

Friday, April 6, 2012

Update on Waxing

Alright it has been quite a bit of time since the last time that I wrote about waxing, in fact it has been about a year.  During that time I have done what I said I was going to, I have experimented with waxing and tried to have an open mind regarding the results.  Within this post I will try and give more details of my personal experience with waxing.

When I first tried waxing I used some of the products that you might find at the supermarket or Target.  These products were not always designed for thick hair that I and most males have.  I did not get very good results from these amateur products.

I eventually went to Sally Beauty Supply and got myself a wax warmer, made by Gigi, and I experimented with different types of wax.  Lately I have been using the Dark Honee wax and have been getting very good results. This waxing system that I am currently using is more along the lines of what professional waxers would use.  The heating system is very consistent and keeps the wax at appropriate temperatures and the wax itself is very good at gripping the thickest of my body hairs without ripping off my skin.

My process has been one of trial and error and I have gotten better at the process over time.  When I first started waxing I was really only able to wax certain parts of my body.  My arms and legs were the easiest, translated as less painful.  But with my legs I was never able to wax my inner thighs.  My inner thighs were way too painful and sensitive.  I also tried waxing my chest, which was extremely painful and would generally bleed when I ripped off those deep thick hairs.  I tried waxing my belly but again it was way too painful.  Eventually over time I got more and more used to the feeling and the procedure of waxing and have been able to wax pretty much my entire body.  Areas that I do not wax would include my Mr. Happy and my arms pits.  So waxed areas would be my arms, chest, belly, my full legs, my butt and my butthole.  Oops was that too much information for some of you?  Well sorry I just want to give an accurate reporting of what I do.

So the results of all of this waxing?  The result is not perfect.  It is not exactly what I first pictured when I thought about waxing.  I thought I would get silky smooth, completely hairless skin, but that is not the results that I am getting.  This has to do with the growth cycle of hair.  Not all of your body hair grows at the same time.  When you wax your hair you will remove the longer hairs, but underneath that are hairs that are just starting to grow.  So I do not see long black hairs when I am done, but I can still feel stubble.  That stubble grows out within a short time.

What this means is that I still have to rely upon shaving to get smoother skin.  But when I am shaving I only have about 25% of the hair to have that I originally had.  So the shaving goes so much quicker and the results of shaving are that much better.

The one thing that I really like about waxing is that at any given time I have much less hair growing.  The hair on my arms grows back the slowest, my legs are the next quickest and my chest grows back the fastest of all.  What I am interested in trying now is to figure out what will happen if I decrease the time period between my waxing.  I think that if I decrease that time period that I may be able to pull out much more of my hairs and get a much smoother result.

The bottom line of this report is that when I first tried waxing, I hated it, but now I like it.  It is not perfect, but it is getting much better.  Practice makes perfect I suppose.

What are your experiences?  You now you could leave a comment and I will try and respond about it.  I do have anonymous comments enabled, so feel free to share your own experiences.

Photo - This photo is of the waxing product that I actually use, and I personally highly recommend it.  I have tried many different brands, be the Gi-Gi waxing system and products work great!

Sunday, April 1, 2012

One of my favorite outfits

I really like the simplicity of this outfit.  I'm pretty sure that I bought the jeans at Walmart and the top at Target. What I think that I see from this outfit is it doesn't really matter where you buy your clothes.  What matters is, do your clothes fit and do they flatter your body shape.  

I think these pants look good on me and the white wash of them helps to make my legs look long and lean.  The top is also nice because it is really fitted to the skinniest part of my torso while bunching up around my bust.  I also like that it has long arms that go all the way to my hands.

I think the other thing I like about this outfit is the picture that my wife took of me while wearing it.  It happens to be one of my favorite pictures.  Also I think this picture is about a year or two old.  But I still really like the outfit.