Thursday, November 18, 2010
When I first started crossdressing I am pretty sure that breasts were the first or second thing that I started with. Initially I thought that my crossdressing was just a sexual fetish, which I am sure that many of you will think that it is also. So when I first began crossdressing it was in relation to it being very sexualized. I was interested in women's lingerie. All sorts of lingerie, underwear, stockings, garters, bras, corsets, anything that was silky, smooth, and what I considered to be femininely sexual. And having breasts was a huge part of that.
And speaking of huge, the breasts I designed for myself were huge! Yes, designed. Initially I stuffed my bra with a variety of things. Wait, I am getting a little ahead of myself. The bra was a huge part of this all. My first bra came from my wife. I do not exactly remember as it was quite some time ago by now, but I think that I asked for one of hers or she offered me one of hers. Either way, I know that it came from her.
I put it on and immediately noticed that it was rather deflated. I think the first things that I used were pantyhose or maybe some socks. Those worked to fill up the cups somewhat, but they certainly looked pretty darn lumpy. And they didn’t feel anything like breasts to me. They didn’t feel that way while sitting on my chest nor did they feel that way when I felt them over the bra. I think the next thing that I tried was to fill a condom with some rice. I didn’t really like the way that this felt and I gave it up after only a few times.
The next big thing I tried was to fill plastic bags with water. I really liked the way that this felt and moved under the bra. The only thing that was kind of scary about it was the occasional time or two that they sprung a leak. It was probably a really good thing that I never actually wore them outside. At some point I found out about a product that is like a rice pellet that absorbs water and turns into a gel like substance. When I started playing around with mixing this product up I really liked it. It was much better than just plain water. It felt very nice, had great weight, warmed up against my chest, and felt very good in every way, except for it was still in a plastic bag.
It was around this time that I experienced a purge. This was my first and last purge. If you don’t know what a crossdresser purge is, basically I threw away everything girly that I owned. In hindsight, it now makes me very sad. I still miss one of the items I threw out. Oh well.
When I once again allowed myself to wear female clothes I again tried mixing water and gel pellets. This process was grating on me though and I decided that I would try something else and I purchased my first pair of false breasts. I forget how exactly I picked the size of the breasts to buy but I did. I also forget which style of falsies they were; like the shape of them. They were probably a triangle. I really liked them. But I had to buy all new bras for them to fit into, because the one thing I do remember is that they were big! I don’t own them anymore, and all I remember about them is that they were huge! They were so big that when I think about them now I think about them as being comical I remember them to be so big!
Since that time I have purchased about four or five more falsies. Each and every time I have purchased a new pair of falsies, I bought a smaller size. So over time my breasts have grown smaller and smaller and I have enjoyed them more and more.
Now actually I generally just wear what most women call cutlets. These are small silicone bra inserts that feel like I am wearing next to nothing at all. The other thing I have changed is the bra size I am wearing. I used to wear a 38C, but now I wear a 36A, with fairly thickly padded cups.
So at this time in my breast journey the advice I could give to you is to go small. Go smaller than you think would work because most likely you will enjoy them more in the long run.