Thursday, November 11, 2010
I have known for as long as I can remember, that I have enjoyed wearing women's clothes. As a young child my sister and I would play dress up for fun. As I got older I thought it was just a quirk; an odd thing that intrigued me. I only acted upon it one time as I got older. It was once while I was a teenager. It was a couple of years after I met my later to be wife. She and I decided to have a Halloween party and I suggested that we dress up as each other. She agreed and we went through with it.
Upon reflection, it was then that I should have realized what was to come in the future. I enjoyed dressing up that way a little too much for it to just be a Halloween thing. I wish I could have known. I wish I could tell then that this was going to be a life long thing. Because then I would have been able to let my future wife know what she would be getting herself into. I could have let her know and let her make an informed decision if that was who she wanted to live with.
I wish I could have told her but as it was I didn't even know. Oh there were signs. Plenty of signs. In retrospect signs so huge they were twenty feet tall, flashing in red neon. Anyone looking for the signs would have seen them. But nobody was looking. I don't think I wanted to see. I knew what I was, what I wanted, what I liked, but I was ashamed and afraid and young, oh so young.
So as it was I didn't know that I was actually a transvestite until I was in my thirties. I knew before then that I liked wearing women's clothes and that I liked doing female things. But it wasn't until sometime in my thirties that I realized I wanted to dress up as a woman and go out into public dressed as a woman. And I think it was the public part that caught both myself and my wife off guard.
This is not something that can be explained in a single blog entry. So for now I will let you know that we are still together and that we both support each other with both of our little quirks.